I saw you talking with another person that day
Your eyes lit up as if it was love
You didn't even notice my presence
I wish you knew how happy I was when I spotted you
I quickened my steps in the hopes of exchanging greetings with you before you walked off to another direction.

But the happiness and excitement disappeared in a second the moment I saw you laughing with that person
What made it worse was the look of your face
You look happy. Genuinely happy.
I wonder if you felt the same when talking to me because i've never seen your face lit up like that but I guess that's fine.
We will never speak to each other again anyway.

Mungkin mereka tidak merasakan erti kehilangan.
Mungkin mereka tidak merasa peritnya untuk melupakan.
Mungkin mereka sedang bergelak tawa dengan seseorang.
Mungkin juga mereka sudah siap untuk melupakan segalanya tentangmu.
Mungkin mereka sudah menemukan penggantimu,
Mungkin jauh lebih bahagia bersama mereka.

Barangkali dirimu sudah cukup menjadi sisa dalam hidup mereka.

Jika mereka bisa hidup baik-baik tanpa kamu, kenapa kamu tak mampu?

You will be in my memories and once a part of my life, my routine but it is the end of our chapter in my book; i will meet someone new or mayhaps we will meet again in another new chapter until the last chapter of my book.

Menangis setelah meluahkan segala yang terpendam di dada adalah kepuasan yang paling indah.

:)

Tuhan tidak akan pernah mengujimu lebih dari apa yang kamu mampu. :)

I resent him so much
So much to the point that I can pretend that I love him and care for him
I don't have any feelings left and only the bad memories stay
I wish nothing but the worst for him
I want his life to be more miserable than mine and he shall feel what I've felt
All the burdens will be carried by him alone.
No one will care for him and love him like I did.
New people in his life would all leave him with bad scars
Scars that made him realise it is his karma and he should not be complaining about it.
He will go through living this lifetime feeling dead and empty, with no one or nothing to help him fill his empty heart and boring life.
Everyday feels like a torture to him but he doesn't have the gut to end his life not because of sin but because he feels like his existence is useless, so useless that if he dies, he will burden people around him
Especially his family, for doing the funeral ceremony. 
He will die alone and his death and presence will be forgotten.
His remaining family does not bother to visit him.
His grave will be left unattended.
~ Words from a human whose grudge is bigger than its own faith ( holding grudge will only disturb your peace but forgiving is never easy ; this poem can be vice versa )

Kerana Tuhan tidak pernah melupakanmu dan membiarkanmu sedih sendiri.

Mengapa kamu mudah sekali membenci dirimu pada saat Tuhan menyayangi dirimu dan mengetahui lebih dari apa yang kamu tahu?

Maka, serahkanlah rasa sedihmu pada-Nya. Luahkanlah segala pada-Nya. Dia lebih tahu rencana terbaik untukmu.

Semoga kamu baik-baik sahaja.

:)

adikdiary

Let me finish this sentence. 🙈

I will fill my own empty heart by myself..

I won't tell everyone how i'm gonna do it
I won't even pretend or think i'm lonely
But i can assure you that i'm currently becoming the best version of myself
By not relying on anyone too much anymore
Either they are here or not
Would be best for me if they feel proud of me
Today. :)

adikdiary

i will fill my own empty heart by myself

cr: idk? i think i saw it somewhere