How to respond in a way that allows the conversation to go smoothly with ease.

When someone gaslights you or tries their best to provoke your anger.

Remember when you pause before you react you have the upper hand to be in a calm state of mind and you are not easily defeated by the person who is trying to make you get upset.

You can flip the power dynamic you are in control of how the conversation goes. While they have no choice but to change their behavior for the conversation to continue.

The way to respond to them is by saying:

1. The way you're treating me right now, is beneath me.
2. I will allow you to try that again. I am allowing you to say that to me differently.
3. I am willing to engage in this conversation if you speak to me respectfully.
4. I am willing to talk with you if we're on the same page.

How do you respond to the person that is mistreating you? It is you lining out the instructions of how this conversation is to move forward.

Remember every conversation you have with anyone you have the upper hand to drive this conversation towards fight or peace.

You are the creator of the words that are spoken to the other person.

The blame game comes when one doesn't want to take responsibility for their own spoken words.

Power comes when you take responsibility for your spoken words and own up to them. When you take responsibility you are also increasing your self-esteem and confidence.

Fake Confident will be easily provoked by others' words. Learn about yourself by seeing your reaction.

Learn how to love yourself better

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What Fuels Me Daily to Come Post here and on all other channels

My Journey started when I Signed up for the Talk Life App where many souls go to venting it's very depressing as many members constantly use the platform to vent, complain, and share their pain, and inner thoughts. I share my pain there for I know that nobody would judge me there and if there was any criticism or judgment I am not easily affected by it only affected when I received love and then the love changed into blaming, shaming, and guilt feelings. I learned to regulate my emotions on that platform then moved to Blog where I can share my desires, thoughts, and wishes freely without fear.

Fear consumed my life in such a way that I was killing myself daily without my knowing. I was killing my emotions and not expressing them freely. I couldn't express my emotions with people around me cause they couldn't accept, validate, and love me cause of my expression of emotions state. I realize that those who constantly complain, vent, and share their inner thoughts are unable to hear me so I had to learn how to hear my own myself daily. Share only when I had enough of blaming the game and shaming the game. I speak up when my emotions are triggered and face my fear no matter what I get in return. Slowly I grow up within 2 years to be in a different level of consciousness. I allow my son to express his emotions freely and I notice how mature he has grown and has responsibilities for his own work.

When I want to share what I learn daily from other or online books or my own experience I notice the increase of joy within me. I wanted to share without the feeling of regret and did I offend anyone. I constantly do self-checking before I post anything cause everyone is sensitive like I am. I have learned how to validate my own emotional state. Allow myself to express my emotions freely even sometimes when I do express them freely there will always be someone who feels uncomfortable about me sharing the information which has caused them to believe that I sharing their private information when it is sharing what I learned and experienced. We are all the same that is why we constantly want everyone to know that we are One not separate or different.

I want to say thank you for your reaction just your one Like or Dislike is telling me that you are here for me, and I am here for you all. Everyone has the freedom to like or dislike I also do and I learn a lot from what I dislike slowly I like what I dislike funny how my mindset changes. Am grateful for your support and being here. Blessing to your life to be awakened to the unconditional love that is in your destiny.

Building Trust

Day 2 - Ask to confirm your Trust

When you go out for lunch with family or friends, you order food on your own with the waiter and trust them with your order. A time will come when you lower your alert or attention that is a time of test to see if you easily trust the outside rather than trusting your gut.

Personal Experience:
Yesterday I When out for an early Dinner with people close to me to protect their privacy I gave them pretend names. Orchid knew the restaurant very well and constantly came to the restaurant with friends and hosted parties. Orchids order one dish for me as I don't eat meat. She insisted that I should trust her and allow her to make the order and have it. when the dish arrived we all had it while eating everyone discussed the gravy that came with it. what is gravy made of was it fresh or stock (which would have beef in it). Others suggested Orchid ask the waiter about the gravy she backed down in not asking the waiter, as I wanted to know the answer so I called the waiter myself and asked turn out the gravy was indeed stock and made of beef. I didn't react I was just in a stable mood I stopped eating the gravy instantly and I learned my first lesson always ask the restaurant as they are in service to customers and they depend on honesty for their work. Some people around you are not in that kind of service, to be honest with you, and can make mistakes. Before we Order the dish Orchid did confess to us that when she ordered this dish to take home, she told her family that she made the dish even though she didn't everyone at home believed her that she made it. That should have made me on alert that whatever she told me could be not true. When a person has habits is constantly lying just to feel good about themselves. I wanted Orchid's advice on wanting to find a job, and she suggested I lie in the resume which too should have tipped me off and trust my gut. As Orchid is very close to my heart I couldn't bring myself to doubt her and constantly try to ask her advice hoping she would be honest with me. Yesterday I learned that I needed to ask next time cause my trust in her was broken.

Have you ever experienced anything similar, Did you put your trust in someone and they broke the trust and did they own up to their responsibilities or avoid the confrontation by laughing about it. I had to be on guard even with people who were close to me cause their words can be really harsh at times.

Before meeting up with Orchid, Cactus drove me to the place on the way Cactus said something that really put me on alert and paying high attention. Cactus asks where you both want to eat cause you both (Flower and Me) have "lots of Issues". I was shocked when Cactus used that word so I just laughed it off saying I didn't have an issue I could eat salad which is so easy all restaurant has that food. I didn't even say I have issues that word is not spoken by me. Cactus realizes instantly what word he speaks and apologizes and changes his words.

Yesterday I got to learn many lessons:
1. Non-veg eaters find Veg eating an issue for them. - Next time bring my own backup food so it won't be an issue for them.
2. When you don't drink alcohol be ready to be eliminated from life. - Drinker will only want to hang out with the drinker.
3. Trust your gut first always, Ask to confirm your trust to others, and when trust is broken take it as a lesson to be stable.

To prove someone is Wrong

Have you ever been in this situation when someone doesn't agree with you and you will go out of your way just to make your point to the person so that you are accepted by them and hoping to get them to say "You are right I was wrong" this desire of needing of approval of acceptance by other show that this person has not learned how to accept themselves as they are, still be kind to them no matter what. They will criticize you and even remind you of the past as well as choose to focus only on the negative in you which is within themselves as well and point it out to you just so they could have the satisfaction of being right and never be wrong ever.

Personal Experience:
I was labeled as a failure in school but I learned lessons from people about how they treat me and what they value the most. Each individual person that comes into my life is teaching the truth of their character and what role they have chosen to be in I had to learn to accept them as they are and navigate my life journey passing through them no matter what they have to say about me. I love my company so much that I even get a glimpse of the dark side of the mind and all the schemes it's up to.

Did you know when you are not paying attention to the person's word your mind will cut in and add its own spice just so you don't notice what it added and you go into believing the mind word that this same word was spoken to you by an outside person. This is a very cunning mind indeed you better watch out cause mind is up to no good. It's plotting your life in the direction of pain, and suffering and having to face the mind alone when you keep on believing it. I did apparently and it was like hell inside my mind so I had to train my mind to speak kindly to me and be honest with me rather than making up stories just to provoke me to go into a fight with someone else who didn't even do anything to me to begin with.

Once I had a conversation with someone online I didn't understand why they chose not to read the full sentence and why they chose to pick on just one word and twist the sentence into something else altogether.

When I speak about something I make sure I remember what I spoke cause the person I talk with apparently can't hear the other words that I spoke it's like the mind has blocked those words from entering the mind. I had to remind myself that record my own voice when I talk to this person cause they twist the word into something else and get defensive very fast.

Am mostly get inspired to write and make posts when I get criticism from outside. Thanks to them I face my fear, take courage to post, and share with you all what kinds of people you will meet outside. How you can take care of your mindset from the outside: you should install many doors in your mind just in case you never know what is trying to get into your head to contaminate your peaceful mind into a toxic mind.

How I Face Outside Criticism and Insult
1. I find something good in their work like they made effort to do some research on their own just to prove something. I would respond "That's good you made an effort to do some research on your own". Say nothing more
2. They would try to provoke you with insulting, your response should be silent or best of all I like "Have a pleasant day" and still be kind to them.

My Nature: Is to be kind, compassionate, Understanding, Forgiving, Listening, and most of all Unconditional Love towards the person no matter what. Cause in the end I am building a habit within me that will last me a lifetime and my next life as well. This is my investment in myself.

How do you Invest in Yourself?

Immature vs Maturity

Steps to build trust with yourself by being honest with yourself with ease:

1. Make a list of tasks or a to-do list that you need to complete.
2. Only you have to complete the tasks; nobody else can do it for you.
3. Each task will have a reward of points, e.g., Clean the room = 5 points.
4. Make a reward chart using the points to exchange for rewards, e.g., Buy a new shirt = 20 points, Buy a new watch = 100 points.
5. When you don't cheat yourself with point collecting by being honest with yourself.

I have used this method for many years and found blissfulness within me. Peace, no more fear, guilt, shame, resentment - all gone, replaced by divine presence within me. The volume of the divine voice increased in me, and the divine always finds a way for me. If I wanted something, the divine would guide me on how to get it with ease, and I no longer need to lie to anyone. This way, I was able to navigate my journey with a blissful feeling all the time. Honesty has helped me gain many beautiful side effects. Lying only took me to hell, and its side effects were like a prison cell. I started to choose to trust the inner voice more, and when the inner voice said to trust a person, I would obey. Try this method and see the results in yourself. Whenever the mind gives ideas to lie, ask yourself, "Am I ready to be locked up in the prison cell of my mind, which will torture me with non-stop talks inside?" It's time to break free from your mind's prison cell, hell, and Kali Yuga, and experience freedom, heaven, and Sat Yuga within yourself.