Hello, Alexander.

we met in the weirdest place there is: online, in the midst of the pandemic, as well, but it became the best place we've ever set our hearts in, but look where we are now.

our gap was far more than others, we were two different people, separated thousands of miles and 12 hours apart, Canada and Indonesia, separated by a big gap, but here we are, in love, and in lust too, and more.

i remember you talking about that game of yours, your prized posession, the ego you have, the power you resonate, the domination, those are your strengths, and everyday I always find a new way to fall in love with it.

and you always admire me, my smile, my beauty, my body, you uphold me, you made me a queen, and I've never and will never ever again feel something more special.

a rocky relationship we had, sometimes we fight over the tiniest thing, of course, I was immature and you were selfish, but we made it work, more times I broke a rule you set for the sake of our relationship, but you always forgave, and half the times you were a jerk, but I always look past that.

and then we all made our final mistake, i lit a fire in the wrong place, it burned differently but you couldnt see it, so you made it bigger, just like you always do to all our fires, and then it burned me out.

but you're an immortal, that was your quirk, your one of many complexes in your life, oh, how i miss that quirk of yours, i wished we had more time so you can find out about my own complexes, even though its going to be about you.

we broke up in December, 1st day, the cold hits your heart, the fire burned me down and you tried to save me, salvage the memory of us, and yet, failure, always failure.

i'm sorry, Alex, i never got brave enough to send you this letter, and now I have to send this through and to another place, a place you'll never know, a place you'll never find out, even though I miss you so much.

the songs you gave me is still sitting pretty in my private playlist, still titled "Alex's", with the same songs, Slipknot's Snuff, blessthefall's With Eyes Wide Shut, I Prevail's Everytime you leave, Breaking Benjamin's Breath, Thirty one and Sevens' I killed the prom queen, all the songs, all the same, I never bothered to change any of it, not even the picture of your face on it.

I will always love you for everything, making me discover new worlds, our politic deeptalks every sunday night, your stupid "Hee-Hee" Michael Jackson joke that night on the phone, which made my stomach hurts so much from laughing, your stories of conquest in your stupid game, and the most important one: your song cover for The Amity Affliction's Soak Me in Bleach that resides well in my tiny MP3 player noone knows, I hear you sing everynight before I sleep.

Im sorry we didnt work out, Alex
Im sorry my gender identity made us fade away.
Im sorry you lost a grip on your queen
Im sorry
The kingdom has fallen

The love has torn itself apart.

I'll see you in another life, Alexander
Same guy, same face, same love

I'll miss you,
Evil Angel Alexander

I will really miss you so much

Your stupid girl,
Kirara (Kiara) </3