—No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restless- ness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing. At other times it feels like being mildly drunk…

—No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am
not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The
same fluttering in the stomach, the same restless-
ness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing.
At other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or
concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket between
the world and me. I find it hard to take in what any-
one says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in. It is
so uninteresting. Yet I want the others to be about me.
I dread the moments when the house is empty. If
only they would talk to one another and not to me.
There are moments, most unexpectedly, when
something inside me tries to assure me that I don’t really mind so much, not so very much, after all.
Love is not the whole of a man’s life. I was happy
before I ever met H. I’ve plenty of what are called
‘resources.’ People get over these things. Come, I
shan’t do so badly. One is ashamed to listen to this
voice but it seems for a little to be making out a
good case. Then comes a sudden jab of red-hot
memory and all this ‘commonsense’ vanishes like an ant in the mouth of a furnace.

no one ever told me about the laziness of grief. Except at my job—where the machine seems to run on much as usual—I loathe the slightest effort. Not only writing but even reading a letter is too much. Even shaving. What does it matter now whether…

الحُكم الجيد يأتي عن طريق الخبرة ، وكل ذلك يأتي عن طريق الأحكام الخاطئة

I can never say goodnight,
Cause your love is cosmic
I'm riding on your rhythm
Through the solar system
So come with me
You and I crossing the night
Cosmic love
Leaving tonight
Finding the stars hidden from the sight
Let us name them cosmic love.

اشبيك خوية عايز حنان

“And he gathered them together into a place called in the Hebrew tongue Armageddon” (Revelation 16:16)

طبعا والله صحيح كلهه تتغير بس الله بقه الله

مشتاقين

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