hi dr solver, i nak cerita yang im actually doing better these days. i started to romanticise my life, live to the fullest and all. but then one day my friend talked to our friend group about her struggles, that she's tired of living and kept having suicidal thoughts all the time. after hearing that, i started to relapse. i feel worse, i kept having those bad thoughts again. i didn't talked much in the friend group after that bc im back to struggling with my thoughts, with my feelings. i feel tired with life, i feel demotivated, i feel like i dont wanna do anything and just lay all day long. i kinda feel bad though bc why am i feeling this way after my friend luahkan about her struggles. i cant even bring myself to share about my relapse episodes to them bc i feel like they might think im just seeking for their attention, and the fact that that friend is still struggling until now, i dont wanna add more to the group.

? : hey there . i understand how hearing about your friend's struggles can be difficult and triggering for you . it's important to remember that everyone has their own unique journey and experiences . while some people may be struggling more than others , it doesn't invalidate your feelings and struggles . it's also important to remember that you are always allowed to reach out for support and it's not selfish or attention-seeking to do so . reach out to your friends , a trusted mentor or a mental health professional if you need help . take care and stay strong dear , i wish you all the best ? !

Hi there. Recently I'm going to overboard of overthinking which leads me to recall back my bad memories. I have been trying to get over it the past week but I can't. It's making me feel worse. I can't even sleep in peace and I can't enjoy my day much. I even tried writing but it doesn't help much. Not only that it is also increasing my inferiority and anxiety for no reason. Do you have any solutions get that can help me get over with these bad memories that's haunting me?

? : hey there . i understand how overthinking and dwelling on bad memories can affect you and your well-being . here are some suggestions that may help you get over your bad memories :

1. make peace with your past and learn from your mistakes : acknowledge your past mistakes but don't hold on to them . accept that you can only learn and grow by moving forward .

2. practice mindfulness meditation : by practicing mindfulness , you can better identify and process your negative thoughts and emotions , allowing you to let go and move towards a more positive and productive mindset .

3. focus on the present : focus on the present and use positive self-talk to improve your present and future .

4. get enough rest : make sure to set up a regular sleep schedule and get enough rest for better overall well-being .

5. reach out for support : consider talking to a friend , therapist , or counselor to help you process your thoughts and emotions and build more positive coping strategies .

6. practise gratitude : practising gratitude can help to put your past experiences into perspective and move forward in a positive way .

7. take care of your physical health : eating healthy and exercising regularly can help improve your mental well-being and make it easier to move on from past experiences .

8. be kind to yourself : finally , remember to be kind to yourself . forgive yourself for any past mistakes and focus on learning from them to improve in the future . give yourself some grace and try not to be too hard on yourself .

life can be challenging and you're doing your best . be proud of yourself and practice self-compassion . you can move past your bad memories and strive towards a more positive and productive future . all the best dear ? .

Im still wondering if i want to stay in dorm or not. My house from uni takes 1 hour sometimes 1 hour 30 minutes. What i like about staying here is i can wake up late and dress up for class terus no need to bangun 5am and also i can do assignment sama2

? : you know what , staying in a dorm near the university makes a lot of sense . tt's more convenient , allows you to wake up later , gets you closer to your classmates , and even gives you extra time to work on assignments with your friends . plus , you won't have to worry about the commute anymore . however , staying home is also a great option as it allows you to save money on accommodation and still gives you the flexibility to wake up and get ready at your own pace . ultimately , it's up to you to decide what works best for you , both financially and practically . all the best !

How to stop self sabotaging myself everytime I try to get to know new people? I like the chasing but when they give in I start to sabotaging myself to get away from them. I hate this kind of toxic mindset I have

? : to stop self-sabotaging yourself when getting to know new people , start by recognizing patterns in your thoughts and behaviors that are triggering you to sabotage the relationship . pay attention to what specific thoughts , feelings , or fears are driving your actions . once you're aware of the patterns , you can work towards reshaping your mindset to be more positive and proactive when interacting with others . it might also help to reflect on past experiences and consider ways to reframe and learn from those experiences while also recognizing ways to cope better in the future . remember , everyone makes mistakes from time to time , and you shouldn't be too hard on yourself . stay safe dear !

i know bottling up emotions is a huge no no but i cant stop myself from doing it. i've been angry with my friend cause of one thing and i cannot believe that that feeling has prolonged. i still do meet and text that person but that feeling where i love that person as a friend is starting to fade away. i dont know what to do but i am trying my best to be fine. ever since then, every small stuff that person do irritates me and make me angry easily. i wanna communicate with that person about the problem but i cant seem to because i feel like that person will end up firing me back with something. i dont know how much longer i can last but i will try to forget about this and move on

? : bottling up your emotions can be detrimental to your health and relationships . i understand that communicating your emotions to your friend may seem daunting , but it could help to resolve the underlying issue and prevent anger or resentment in the future . you could try to approach the subject carefully and respectfully , and also be open to hearing the other person's perspective . it's also important to prioritize your mental health and take care of yourself emotionally .

I nk luah something bcuz it does feel so heavy for me to bear...i used to feel this feeling before but never been so much terrible...they say bila masuk uni try to get into circle jgn sorang2 but what if when u try to join in that circle and then they ignore u and when u try to join another one the outcome is the same...that wht i facing and it really bother me a lot...my roommates sorang yg jenis xbersosial sorang lgi dh ad circle dia sndri..its feel like so much hurt tho...my coursemate pun sama dorang semua dh ad circle, kawan masing2 while me i try to mix in with the circle but in the end i xdpt...i feel so depressed and anxious now its really bother me...i saw everyone buat study group with their friends groupmate but i hanya mampu study sndri dekat kolej pun sama its so much to handle...plus,the fact yg i finally understand bila orang ckp group assignment uni ni lgi pedih dri zaman sekolah yes bcuz im actually facing it like assngmnt dh jln but still no progress when i try iniate by asking to know my group member in whatsapp none of them response...idk if i can still hold on now

? : i'm sorry to hear that you're having trouble finding a social circle and making new friends in university . it can be hard to adjust to a new environment and make new friends, especially if you're feeling anxious or depressed . it's normal to feel overwhelmed and anxious in a new environment , and making new friends can be difficult . don't be too hard on yourself and remember that connecting with others takes time and effort . by taking small steps , you can slowly start to make new social connections and find your place within your new environment . jangan take rejections personally okayy , slow slow try adapt this new phasee , baby step okayy dear <3 .

Hi I’m first year student. I really wanna go out and socialise but my social energy drains easily. And then I be making resting b*tch face. Do you know how to handle this problem tho

? : you could try these tips to help you handle your social energy draining easily :

1. take breaks when you need to. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed and socially drained , don't be afraid to take a break from social situations and go off by yourself for some peace and quiet .
2. make sure to show a little bit of genuine interest in the conversation . even if your energy is low , try to show some enthusiasm and gratitude when someone talks to you .
3. try to focus on the other person and make sure to listen to what they have to say .
4. try to be mindful of your body language . keep a neutral expression on your face and avoid seeming too irritated or disinterested .
5. try to engage in light conversations rather than trying to dive deep into personal and intimate topics immediately . take time to get to know the people you're talking to and start by discussing subjects that are less intense and heavy .
6. try to be open and friendly when you're socializing . show appreciation for the other person and try to be positive and optimistic when engaging with them . this will help create a more welcoming and enjoyable atmosphere .

i wish you all the best to handle your problem well !

what do you suggest a person may do if they still feel lonely although they have so many friends, involve in various activities, make a lot of memories with others, but yet still feel empty... like somehow nothing reach them anymore... not feeling, not reaction, just none... and they're so tired of pretending to be okay but if they actually be alone, somehow things got into their head and mess with their mind

? : i see , i understand what you mean . loneliness and emptiness can be difficult feelings to deal with , even when we have friends and are doing activities that we enjoy . it sounds like you may be experiencing some feelings of burnout and exhaustion .
i suggest you take some time to focus on yourself and your own well-being . start by getting enough sleep and making sure to get plenty of exercise and fresh air . take time to pursue activities that you find meaningful or fulfilling , and make sure to stay connected with your friends . if the feelings of loneliness persist , consider seeking professional help or support , okay ? take care dear <3 !

Bila dah masuk uni bru tau uni life is keras:-( i dont have someone utk i luahkan my prob like someone yg dekat dgn i dlm uni ni yg blh understand my hardship cuz of that i always tell my probs to my bffs who are far away for me and does makes me feel guilty to bother them bcuz they have their own life and probs now they to hear mine...haihh(T_T)

? : hey there ! yup , life uni memang mencabar , satu persatu ujian kita akan dapat , dari segi study , maybe duit or even hal dalam berkawan dan segala macam hal . its okay kalau nak luahkan dekat someone and no need to feel guilty . semua orang need someone to listen to them sometimes . kalau ada nak luah tapi taku nak luah dekat orang , you can hmu here @YourPersonalDrbot . stay safe okay :3 .

First year student and i live alone in my room and i cry every single night, i wish i have a friend like others to hang out with, to tell my probs but then i hv no one ;)

? : ify , biasa memang awal awal sem akan rasa nangis je sebab tak biasa lagi dengan environment baru , lagi pula kalau kita tak ada kenalan dekat situ . tapi , instead of duduk dalam bilik and nangis , why not you try join any club or society dekat uni ? at least by doing that you can get more friendsss kan kan kan . jangan nangis nangis tau , jangans sedih . sedih tu perkara normal , tapi jangan asyik sedih , nanti kang jatuh sakit macam mana ? kang susah pula nak study hmm . btw , i wish you all the best :3 .