Wake up anon, you were having that nightmare again.

Attention anti wagies, dumpster divers and raccoons. Hard times are coming, life will get significantly tougher for many of us and you must become tougher to deal with this new reality. So, for those who wanted it and for those who have said they wanted to "davianmaxx" I present to you 18 months of trial and error, of figuring out what works best for me both for performance at work, in the cage, on the mats and of course, dumpster diving and mogging wagie. No idea what to call this program so feel free to assign your own name to it. It is beginner "friendly" in that it is scalable for fitness and strength levels.
You'll need A few things for this program namely access to kettlebells, a pull up bar, a Barbell, a neck harness, an interval timer app something heavy you can carry. The more awkward the better but don't hurt yourself!

The program itself is split into A and B
The A days will be heavy, medium and light days. Heavy being whichever kettlebell you can press, with good form, for 3 reps, medium for 5, light for 10. You will use th3 same weight for the swings. B days are just... nasty haha

A HEAVY: clean and press kettlebell ladder. 1,2,3 x5
So, you will clean and press the kettlebell on one side for one rep, do the same on other side. Then clean and press for two reps etc etc. Repeat until the required number of reps are done, this is one "ladder". Rest up to 2 minutes, repeat 5 times.

50 kettlebell swings with same heavy weight you were pressing with As Few Breaks As Possible (AFBAP)

Loaded walk, heavy: pick up something heavy, carry it for around 50 metres.Repeat 6 times.

Interval training: set your interval timer for 30 seconds work, 10 seconds rest. Then perform the following with double kettlebells. Snatch, jumping lunges, seesaw press, rows, Russian twists. Going through that sequence twice is 1 round. I want you to be able to do 6 rounds. When it's easy, up the weight cos papa thule luvs ya! Do not underestimate how much this sucks, pick a reasonable weight.

Man maker: 3 pull ups, 3 dips, 15 long jumps, 3 clapping press ups, sprint 50 metres, repeat twice is 1 round. Eventually i want you to work your way up to 20 rounds if it gets too easy, throw on a plate carrier or weight vest.

Neck work: use your harness, use a weight that is reasonable. Go for 100 reps AFBAP

B: Every minute on the minute (EMOM) snatches 6x6. Set your timer for 1 minute with no rest, repeat 6 times doing 6 snatches each side. Add a minute and a set each session until you're doing 10x10. Once you can do that, up the weight and go back to 6×6!

Barbell complex: 8 reps of the following; row, clean, front squat, overhead press, back squat, good morning. No rest between exercises. Don't underestimate this one lads. Once you can do this badboy 5 times, up the weight and start over. Start out very light though.

Sandbag: 50-100 reps, any exercise of choice

Man maker: 5 pull ups, 10 press ups, 15 squats, 50 metre sprint. Repeat up to 20 times

A MEDIUM: clean and press ladder 1,2,3,4,5 x 8

Swings 100 AFBAP

Loaded carry: something of medium weight, carried 50 metres 10 times.

Interval training

Man maker

Neck work

B: same as previous

A LIGHT: clean and press ladder 1,2,3,4,5, 10 x 10-12

For the 10, just clean the bell once then do 10 presses.

One armed swings 100 each side AFBAP.

Loaded carry light: grab something light, run with it for 50 metres, repeat up to 20 times. Serious gut check!

Interval training

Man maker

Neck work

B: same as previous

So the sequence is as follows; A HEAVY, B, A MEDIUM, B, A LIGHT, B.

In the evening, usually after work I'll do martial arts of some description and usually go for a swim but any cardio would do I suppose.
I strongly urge you guys to do something similar, especially when it comes to martial arts.

So that's it, that's what I'm doing at the moment. If any of you guys choose to do this program let me know what you think, what you'd Change etc etc and enjoy davianmaxx'ing!

Since I am coming to that holy room,
         Where, with thy choir of saints for evermore,
I shall be made thy music; as I come
         I tune the instrument here at the door,
         And what I must do then, think here before.

Whilst my physicians by their love are grown
         Cosmographers, and I their map, who lie
Flat on this bed, that by them may be shown
         That this is my south-west discovery,
      Per fretum febris, by these straits to die,

I joy, that in these straits I see my west;
         For, though their currents yield return to none,
What shall my west hurt me? As west and east
         In all flat maps (and I am one) are one,
         So death doth touch the resurrection.

Is the Pacific Sea my home? Or are
         The eastern riches? Is Jerusalem?
Anyan, and Magellan, and Gibraltar,
         All straits, and none but straits, are ways to them,
         Whether where Japhet dwelt, or Cham, or Shem.

We think that Paradise and Calvary,
         Christ's cross, and Adam's tree, stood in one place;
Look, Lord, and find both Adams met in me;
         As the first Adam's sweat surrounds my face,
         May the last Adam's blood my soul embrace.

So, in his purple wrapp'd, receive me, Lord;
         By these his thorns, give me his other crown;
And as to others' souls I preach'd thy word,
         Be this my text, my sermon to mine own:
"Therefore that he may raise, the Lord throws down."

Epstein Island

Why don’t we ever see tattoos in the six millions???