Even if my hands are tied from ever reaching out to you, I'm still happy to at least have had the chance to know such a beautiful soul as yours.

Meeting people & growing apart from them & meeting new people & growing apart from them too & meeting other people & eventually growing apart from them as well & on and on and on.

Did everyone else get a manual for life or?

I feel like everyone has everything figured out and I'm the one stuck, nowhere to go, no path to follow. I'm just confused as to who I'm supposed to be.

Numbly floating through days internally screaming at myself, lusting for just one shred of who I am, idk I'm just rambling at 2am.

Sadtember, octrouble, nopartner, disable.

I don't really ask for help. I handle my own feeling, but when I do need someone, that's when you know it's bad.

They say that the best people in your life are like the sun- they light up your life. And that is true, you are my sunshine who brings warmth to my soul. But I also want to say that you are my moon because in the night when it's dark, you are not looking for the sun to brighten up the sky. Instead you search for the glow of the moon to guide you home.

When I look at you, I felt my heart opening up, even if I am in the middle of healing myself from an unexpected heartbreak, even if I felt a bit scared of showing the broken parts to you.

It makes me wonder why my soul seems to be comfortable by your presence like we are just put at the right timing to talk or speak with each other, even if we are both in the process of healing ourselves from the pains we are silently suffering.

Maybe I can’t really explain at this moment what I am really feeling, cause I am torn between my sadness, my healing, and the fact that I feel at ease when we talk with each other, it felt alright.

I am just a bit anxious and afraid of allowing myself to be vulnerable in presence of someone, but maybe, it feels different from you, cause my soul knows you, i don't even know how.

Maybe it may take a while that I tell you the bits and pieces of my heart, and maybe you are also able to share with me the feeling you have inside, maybe we can share our own worlds, with one another.

— who knows, right? Maybe, just maybe.

It takes a thousand times before I would get to say “enough, It hurts and I’m tired”. It takes time for me to be pushed to my limits; which can predominantly my fault for trusting and forgiving people over and over again. Getting abused and being taken advantage of. Repetitively hurting my soul until I get worn out and obliterated. I admit it. It’s my fault for letting people run over my life. It is my fault for being selfless in most circumstances. But can you blame me for doing all of these if you’re important to me? Can you blame me for caring so much? I wish people would give importance and see that worth of every chance and forgiveness I entrust. It’s devastating how people can be truly ruthless. I guess that is how existence works..

Even if you keep on hiding it,
I know, I feel you,
I feel how your heart feels,
I feel how hard it is,
When you suffer, I suffer too,
I feel your pain,
Your happiness,
Every emotion you feel,
It runs into my veins as well,
I absorb it to keep you up,
So you won’t fall down,
I allowed myself to be hurt,
Just for you to be okay.