Does Your Self Esteem Rely On Winning And Losing (Part 1)?

We often hear in our day-to-day lives that we are in a race and life is about winning at every moment. Also, we have got used to feeling very happy, when we succeed in anything on a physical level, whether it is in our education or in our career or in a relationship or in anything else like being on the winning side in any sport. On the other hand, we feel dejected and disheartened when we don’t succeed or don’t do so well in any of these aspects of life. The worst part is our self-respect or how we see ourselves has started depending on these ups and downs so much in our present lives, that we have forgotten these are temporary aspects of our life and even if people have started seeing us through the spectacles of these successes and failures and started labelling us in their minds because of that, we don’t need to do that to ourselves and to others. Even our children are suffering because of this, as we judge them based on this winning and losing, either in their studies, or in their sports or in any other activities in their growing years as children or teenagers. Let us explore three ways by which we can overcome this issue in our lives -

1. Winning And Losing Is External … If I Am Happy And Content, I Am Always Winning - The first and foremost step is understanding that with the theory of the Survival of the Fittest, we introduced deep competition in society and made life so difficult for ourselves, that now we are ourselves suffering because of the same, as we don’t know how to come out of this race. Wherever we see, whether it is in our personal lives or in our professional lives, or in our school and college upbringing, it’s all about external success. In many cases, people are suffering internally because of this and are not so happy. We have forgotten that we are spiritual beings or souls and for us winning is being pure and positive and full of our original qualities like peace, love, joy and power. Also, when we focus only on external winning and losing, we no longer enjoy life and we only keep chasing and searching and keep getting more and more emptier spiritually and emotionally everyday and our qualities keep reducing.

(To be continued …)

Keeping The Balance With Ease (Part 3)

We are all action-conscious at times, forgetting that all the actions are performed by the inner being or soul. Actions may seem to be performed by our hands; words may seem to be spoken by our tongue and everything we see and hear seems to done by our eyes and ears. But, always remember, to keep a balance of all our actions and to maintain a positive and powerful as well as detached state of mind which does not get disturbed, we need to remember one thing. The hands, tongue, eyes and ears, all of them are being controlled by the soul or the real me. I am not Mr. X or Ms. Y. That is the name of the physical body or the physical costume I wear. The real I is the invisible being of spiritual energy or non-physical light – the soul.

With this kind of soul-consciousness, I will look at all my actions and words from a distance and not be worried too much in their involvement. Things can go wrong at times. Work may go in the wrong direction, people can at times be negative towards us and our physical body can be ill at times. Also, there will be lot of actions to be completed at times. All this will happen at times. Also, there will be days when there is lots to do. But, if we remain soul-conscious, or in touch with the inner being, remembering our spiritual qualities and powers, we will be remain at peace and in control. So, work hard, have beautiful relationships full of love and happiness and excel in every sphere of life. At the same time, remember to keep the balance by remaining introverted and detached. This is the key to contentment and a stress free lifestyle full of calmness and self-esteem.

Keeping The Balance With Ease (Part 2)

How do I keep myself stable and constant when surrounded by lots of actions either in my personal life or my professional work or anything else? As per the knowledge of who I am, what we see about ourselves in the physical mirror is the way we look. Other than that, we know our education, our personality, our skills and even our work or the role we play. This is our physical self. But, inside this physical body and the one which plays its part through the physical body is the inner being or also called the soul. The soul is an energy which is a natural storehouse of all our qualities and powers. If I experience these qualities and powers inside my mind, which is a part of the soul, I will remain at peace and in a content state of mind. But what happens is that when we begin our actions, we lose our connection with the inner self. We start acting on a physical level, without giving importance to the inner spiritual self.

A very simple method to bring these qualities and powers into my consciousness and then into my actions is reminding myself. Reminding that I am a peaceful soul or I am a loveful soul or even I am a powerful soul. What this will do is make you that. These are called affirmations. The more I bring these qualities and powers into actions, the more my actions will become streamlined and I will not get over-involved with them. At the same time I will perform them accurately, because my mind is focused and full. This is called soul-consciousness and is a higher state of mind than being action-conscious.

(To be continued tomorrow …)

Spiritual Roses Of The Supreme Gardener

The main features of physical flowers are their colour, form and fragrance, by which we judge their beauty. All these characteristics have their own unique importance. Introducing oneself to spirituality is like giving oneself into the hands of the Supreme Spiritual Gardener or the Supreme Being (God). Like a physical gardener who possesses qualities of patience, tirelessness, love, far-sightedness, faith etc. on a limited level, the Supreme Gardener possesses these qualities on an unlimited level, which he uses to bring us up. As we remain under his sustenance and care, over a period of time, we blossom and are transformed into beautiful spiritual flowers, and our thorns fall away. When we look at ourselves as spiritual flowers, our colour symbolizes spiritual knowledge.Depending on how we imbibe the wisdom shared by the Spiritual Gardener and bring it in our day-to-day functioning; in our thoughts, words, actions and relationships; the more beautiful a colour we take. Our form is shaped depending on the quality of our connection with the Supreme Being, the Gardener. The deeper and stronger the connection, the more beautiful the form. Lastly, our fragrance refers to divine qualities like sweetness, humility, tolerance, carefreeness, purity and many more, which we develop. Physical flowers with a good colour, form and fragrance, attract everyone around them. Seeing and coming close to them, gives one an experience of joy. The same holds true for spiritual flowers.

Roses are considered the king of all flowers, with the best possible colour, form and fragrance. Spiritual roses are those souls which continuously remain in a spiritual consciousness and spread the fragrance of that consciousness to others. Their thoughts, words and actions get shaped according to this consciousness. They have a deep relationship with the Spiritual Gardener and are always eager to ensure that others also experience that relationship and become spiritual roses, which is a deep wish of the Supreme Gardener, for every spiritual being. They help him in fulfilling that wish.

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We are living in a time where an uncomfortable emotion like stress is being called acceptable, natural or normal by many of us burdened by our various roles. A student creates stress about exams and results, a professional worries about managing family and professional targets, and a retired person is anxious about health and finances. Stress is a result of our creation of wrong thoughts. Suppose I am employee who knows that it takes two years to be promoted as a manager, I sincerely work for it. But my own conditioned thoughts often get triggered - ? ?????????? ???? ???? ????????? ?? ? ??????? ??? ???? ?? ??????... ???? ?? ?? ???? ???? So I remain uneasy and anxious not just today but for two more years. If one day I sense that my promotion may not happen for any reason, I may even resort to an unfair means to get it. This way I add more layers of anxiety, negativity and guilt to my current stress levels. In this state if I get a promotion, can I play the role of a Manager well? I cannot because by now I have forgotten my nature of peace and happiness. I feel stressed about handling higher responsibilities. My efficiency reduces and I become weaker. I cannot do justice to a role that I had been chasing for so long.

Our first responsibility in any role is to take charge of the state of our mind by increasing inner strength. It gives us the power to remain stable in success or failure. In the above example stress is a result of my anxiety, fear and guilt for compromising on ethics. I had identified myself with the role of becoming a manger. I believed it was vital for my happiness and success. But is ??????? who I really am? A significant cause of stress is our illusion, ? ?? ??? ????. When we consider ourselves as the body instead of our inner selfs, we identify the self with our roles, achievements and possessions, which are our outer identities. We are actors in this world drama. We play many roles in our life. Let us not identify with our roles and forget the beautiful qualities of the inner self. The right consciousness is, ? ?? ? ????????? ??? ???????? ????? ??????? ????????? ?????. Role is temporary, the inner being is eternal. This understanding reduces our stress while playing the role and allows us to focus on values of the inner self – peace, love and joy, in every role.

#IAM

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Many a times people reject our advice although it is beneficial to them. If they don’t want to change, their ego can block our words. However, thought communication is faster and more powerful than communication through words and actions. If we radiate the same advice through our pure thoughts, people cannot escape the influence of our vibrations.

1. Sometimes people may not accept your advice or suggestion due to their ego, and at other times they may lack the power to implement your words. Do not argue with them, criticize them or insist in front of them. Use your thought power to positively influence them.

2. Remember that every thought you create for someone, is energy which travels as vibrations. It crosses barriers of space and time, reaches that person and influences them.

3. During meditation, emerge the person on the screen of your mind. Send them pure, positive and powerful thought vibrations of the changes you desire to see in them. It could be relating to their health, happiness, habits, career, relationships, finances … anything.

4. Even during the day, create powerful thoughts for people. For example, create thoughts for someone’s health as – ?? ?? ? ????? ?????. ????? ???? ?? ??? ???? ?? ?????? ???? ????? ??? ??????. ??? ????????? ?? ?????? ??? ??????? ??????. Your vibrations will elevate their energy field or aura and empower them to fight any illness.

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We give perfect advice with pure intentions, but sometimes people reject our advice and take a decision which we believe is not best way go. We express our pure intentions and best suggestions, but the other person might decide to implement their own idea.

1. Recall a situation when your view was rejected, and you warned someone with your best intentions as - ???? ?????? ?? ??????. ????? ??? ????? ??? ??? ?????? ?? ????????? ????????????. ??? ??? ?????????? ??????.

2. Once people take a decision, even if it is opposite of what you wanted them to do, change your thought process. Instead of saying - now wait and watch what happens next, tell them - ?? ??? ??? ????? ????? ????? ???? ???? ????????, ? ?? ?????? ???? ???.

3. Don’t withdraw support and definitely don’t wait for them to fail so that they feel guilty and after that start obeying you. Even if their decision turns out to be not the best for them, do not taunt people. Meditate for them, empower them, increase their self-confidence, and help them focus on solutions rather than past mistakes.

4. Any advice that is perfect for you, need not be right for someone else. Your advice is on the basis of your nature, talents, capacity, perception and priority. These parameters will be different for other people.

#IAM

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We are all blessed with many beautiful attainments in our life. We feel happy in having these attainments and we are always thankful to the Universe and to people around us that they have blessed us with them. We even thank God because remembering Him has helped us receive these attainments and experience them. Attainments are life's little milestones and good things, which come in our way sometimes on their own and sometimes with some effort. They can be physical as well as non-physical things. A gratitude diary is a little diary which we can keep and write in it everyday what is nice in my life. We can write 3-5 things everyday, even what happened today in my life, which gave me happiness. It can be things which God has gifted me, a person close to me has given me or nature has shared with me.

Also, I need to revisit my gratitude diary from time to time, read its older pages, which I had written, say one month ago, a year ago or even a few years ago. This is because the more we are aware of life's goodness and the more we remember it again and again, we feel happy for what we have and not be unhappy for what we don't have. Life can sometimes send us difficult and negative situations and we can sometimes get depressed and sad, but our gratitude diary will remind us of how fortunate we are and how we all have so many things which have made us smile and feel deep within our heart that life is beautiful, every person is beautiful, every situation, even if its negative is beautiful, because it is beneficial, every life moment is beautiful and of course God, who is our most loved one, is the most beautiful, because He is good, caring and kind with us all the time.

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We all want freedom and independence but is it only about having our own house, our own room, our own money and our own decisions. We all seek political, financial, physical and social freedom, but after having it all, are we truly independent? Let us explore our emotional freedom today. To experience independence, a good starting point is to identify our dependencies. If there is anything for which we say ? ?????? ?? ??????? or a person for whom we say ? ?????? ???? ??????? or a sanskar (habits) for which we say ??’? ??? ?? ?? ???????, then we are emotionally dependent. Our basic list of dependencies would include – mobile, internet, television, coffee, alcohol, smoking, particular types of food, shopping etc.

A little more checking will reveal our deeper attachments and dependencies –
1. People and situations should be my way
2. People’s approval and appreciation
3. My opinion is right and yours is wrong
... we can complete the list with all those things for which our mind gets disturbed.

Let’s ask our self do we get hurt or angry always? The answer will be ??????? ?? the person who made the mistake … ??????? ?? what they did … ??????? ?? how they behaved. We believe that our emotions are dependent on who they are and what they did. The truth is it ??????? ?? our state of mind and the response we create irrespective of who they are and what they did. We are like slaves of our own belief systems and it is time to free our self and awaken to a new way of thinking and living. Swa-Rajya means to be a ruler or master over our mind, intellect, ???????? (??????) and physical sense organs. In-Dependence means to be dependent only on our inner qualities and powers to respond to any behaviour or situation. In-Dependence means we have the power to give blessings to those who betrayed us; we can share and care for those who rejected us; we can co-operate with those who are jealous of us; we can be calm and soft with those who are shouting at us. Let’s create a new belief system - people and situations have ?? ?????????? to my response. I have the choice and the power to create the right feeling and behaviour each time and for each one. I am In-Dependent.

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As we progress in the journey of life, at times there can be moments which redefine our life and destiny. These are those moments when something important occurs in our life and life is not the same again after that. Let’s say you get a very important educational degree in your life and your life is transformed as you become very successful in your career after that and life is a beautiful and eventful joyride. You get lots of praise and honor in your family, from your friends and in the world. Now let’s look at something else – I lose my job suddenly and a workplace, to which I gave my entire life and time and effort, gives me something bad in return. I am devastated. How could this happen to me – my company telling me to leave? This is a depressive moment in my life. The reason why we have mentioned such opposite examples is because life is full of both of these. To remain stable and the same in victory and defeat, praise and insult, joy and sorrow is the sign of a truly successful person.

We are people living in society and doing jobs and managing families, running businesses and sending children to school and are very often faced with physical health problems, problems in relationships in family and the workplace and other problems at home and at work. In the midst of all this, we need to remain stable, powerful, content and peaceful. ??? ??? ??? ????? ???? ???? ??? ??. ??? ?? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ???????? ????? ?? ??????????? ??? ????????????. ???? ? ????? ?? ?????? ???????? ?? ???? ??? ??? ???? ?????? ????? ?? ?????. Let’s discover this stage and how to imbibe a positive lifestyle in this message.

(To be continued tomorrow …)