MARRIED & DIVORCED 7 TIMES (A REVERT SISTER'S STORY)🥀

I am a revert sister of 16 years alhamdulilah. I got married about 6 months after becoming Muslim and in hindsight I didn't know much about marriage and I had very little knowledge of Islam.

My first husband was very practising maashAllah. He was 4 years older than me and was very passionate about upholding the sunnah. But I found this really overwhelming at the time and we clashed alot. He was fed up with my disobedience and I couldn't handle what I thought was extremism from him.

I took the easy way out and insisted he divorced me. The marriage lasted a year and a half.

In total I've been married and divorced 7 times. My marriages ended for various reasons and they weren't all my fault but I can also say that my lack of knowledge meant that I didn't understand the rights of a husband or even the rights of the wife. This was a major issue that impacted them all.

I know there's alot of stigma attached to divorced sisters. Alot of the time we're seen as secondhand goods that are less than, which is confusing to me. We were in legimate and halal marriages that didn't work out so why should we be penalised or judged for that?

Allah has allowed divorce out of necessity and there should be no shame in it (if you feared Allah). It shouldn't define your character or ability to have a successful marriage.

I understand its hard to phathom how my marriages have failed 7 times. Although everytime I got divorced, I just wanted to protect my chastity so I got married again.
It would have been too easy to fall back into my old lifestyle and I never wanted to run the risk of commiting zina.

I'm 36 now and would really like to find the right husband and have children inshaAllah. Despite my track record, I'm still hopeful because ultimately this is in the hands of Allah.

For the last year and a half I've been single and focusing on seeking knowledge and strengthening my relationship with Allah. I feel more empowered having studied marriage and focusing on tawheed.

I'd say, any sisters newly reverted to Islam make sure you learn your deen and study marriage before getting into it; be prepared to make sacrifices and do thorough checks on suitors before you believe that classic line "he's a good brother".

Knowledge is key. Once you have sound understanding of your rights you can't be taken advantage of and when you understand a husband's rights over you you can strive not to violate these.

Success is by Allah; if you're looking for marriage or wanting to remarry after divorce; put your trust in Allah. Fear Him and He will make a way out for you from means that you could never imagine.

-Anonymous Sister

🌷Sisters🌷Follow⤵️
https://t.me/SalafiSistersHomeschooling

Telegram

Salafi Sister's Homeschooling Group

This is a *SISTERS ONLY* platform that was created after a request for a Salafi Sisters Homeschooling Networking group. It is managed by those upon Salafiyah for the purpose of sharing homeschooling resources/tips and Salafi dawah.

𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (213)
Is it true that teaching women in the masjid is an innovation?

Sheikh Abdulhamīd Az-Zu'kari ḥafidhahullāh responded:

Firstly, when a new issue arises, a Muslim should refer to the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger ﷺ and then judge it accordingly.

Women are included in the words of Allah the Almighty:

﴿ يَرْفَعِ اللهُ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا مِنكُمْ وَالَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْعِلْمَ دَرَجَاتٍ﴾
"Allah will raise those who have believed among you and those who were given knowledge, by degrees" [Quran 58:11],

﴿وَقُل رَبِّ زِدني عِلمًا﴾
"And say, 'My Lord, increase me in knowledge'" [Quran 20:114],

﴿وَمَا يَعْقِلُهَا إِلَّا الْعَالِمُونَ﴾
"And none truly grasps [the parables] except those of understanding" [Quran 3:7],

and other evidence that highlights the virtue of knowledge.

Additionally, the Prophet ﷺ said:

((مَن يُرِدِ اللهُ به خيرًا يُفقِّهْه في الدِّينِن))
"When Allah wishes good for someone, He bestows upon him understanding of the religion,"

((خَيْرُكُمْ مَنْ تَعَلَّمَ الْقُرْآنَ وَعَلَّمَهُ))
"The best among you are those who learn the Quran and teach it,"

((ومَنْ سَلَكَ طَرِيقًا يَلْتَمِسُ فِيهِ عِلْمًا سَهَّلَ اللَّهُ بِهِ طَرِيقًا إِلَى الْجَنَّةِ))
"Whoever follows a path in pursuit of knowledge, Allah makes the path to Paradise easy for him,"

among other similar hadiths.

The Prophet ﷺ used to preach to women in the masjid, which is a form of imparting knowledge. He even designated a specific day to address and advise women; when women complained that men were taking up all his time, he responded to their needs, which is also a form of teaching.

As long as there is no mixing of genders, no Tasweer of living beings, and no evil practices, whether in schools, colleges, or universities, there is no evidence to prohibit them.

As for the Āyah:
﴿ وَقَرْنَ فِي بُيُوتِكُنَّ وَلَا تَبَرَّجْنَ تَبَرُّجَ الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ الْأُولَ ﴾
"And stay in your houses and do not display yourselves like the former times of ignorance" [Quran 33:33], this does not mean that a woman should never leave her house for her needs. The prohibition is against wanton display, uncovering the face, and causing or seeking fitnah (temptation).

Furthermore, if there is a safe place for women to gather, such as a prayer area attached to the masjid or adjacent to it with a curtain separating them from men, or an area in a house, all these are permissible and should not be overly restricted.

I advise students of knowledge not to get distracted by minor issues and instead focus on more significant matters. In Yemen, centers of Ahlus Sunnah have been established, each having a prayer area for women where they read the Qur'an, learn Tajweed, study Fiqh, read Hadith, and listen to admonitions.

The Prophet ﷺ commanded women to go out to the prayer area to witness goodness and the supplications of the Muslims, which is a form of knowledge. Distinguishing between this and other forms of knowledge requires evidence. The Companions learned directly from the Prophet ﷺ through Friday sermons, Eid sermons, admonitions, gatherings of remembrance, among others.

Allah is the One Who grants success.

Source:
https://t.me/A_lzoukory/32445

@womensbenefits

Telegram

قناة الشيخ عبدالحميد بن يحيى الزُّعكُري

***🔷******🔶******🔷*** ***🔶******🔶*** ***🔷*** ***🔊*** #سلسلةالفتاوىالصوتية\_المفردة ***🔸******🔹*** سلسلة الفتاوى الصوتية المفردة ***🔸******🔹*** ***▪***للشيخ أبي محمد عبد الحميد الحجوري الزعكري حفظه الله تعالى ***🗓***الأربعاء 23/ رجب/ 1441 هجرية. ***🍃******🍃******🌷******🌷******🌷******🍃******🍃*** ***📝***الســـــؤال : ═══✺✺ ═══ ما صحت قول إن تدريس النساء في المساجد من المحدثات؟…

𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (212)
What is the ruling on women entering public baths/saunas?

Sheikh Abdulḥamīd Az-Zu'kari ḥafidhahullāh stated:

If there is no Khalwah with non-mahram men or exposure to them...and there is no fear of fitnah, then it is permissible - as long as there is no Tasweer or similar activities.

However, it is preferable to avoid it altogether, as there are narrations prohibiting women from entering (public) baths; referring to steam baths and hot baths (1).

As for the hadith:
((أيُّما امرأةٍ وضعَتْ ثيابَها، في غيرِ بيتِ زوْجِها فقَدْ هتَكَتْ سِتْرَ ما بينها وبينَ اللهِ عزَّ وجلَّ))
"Any woman who removes her clothes in a place other than her husband's house has broken the veil between her and Allah, the Almighty," [Reported by Tirmithi 2803; graded 'Sahih' by Sheikh Albani]

this refers to removing clothes for illicit purposes or exposing oneself, and not merely undressing for a need.

Source:
https://t.me/A_lzoukory/25209

____
(1) Forexample, the Prophet ﷺ said:
((مَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الْآخِرِ فَلَا يُدْخِلْ حَلِيلَتَهُ الْحَمَّامَ))
"Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should not let his wife enter the public bath." [Reported by Tirmithi 2801; graded 'Hasan' by Sheikh Albani]

@womensbenefits

Telegram

قناة الشيخ عبدالحميد بن يحيى الزُّعكُري

***🔸******🔹******🔸*** ***🔹******🔹*** ***🔸*** ***🔊*** #الفتاوى ***🔹*** سلسلة الفتاوى الصوتية ***🔸*** ***▪️***للشيخ أبي محمد عبد الحميد الحجوري الزعكري حفظه الله تعالى. ***🗓*** الخميس 13/محرم / 1441 ***📝******🔹***السؤال 14: هل هناك دليل على أن الأمكنة التي نصلي فيها تشهد لنا يوم القيامة؟ ***📩******🔸***الجواب: ﴿ وَأَخْرَجَتِ الْأَرْضُ أَثْقَالَهَا﴾﴿…

𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (211)
Polygyny is not the only Sunnah!

Question: A topic was raised in the fatwa box about polygyny that has received much negative prayers from women because they dislike polygyny.

Sheikh Abdulhamid Az-Zu'kari ḥafidhahullāh responds:

Undoubtedly, this topic brings sadness and distress to women, and then they are expected to pray and say after hearing someone encouraging it, saying: "O married men, you should marry a second, third, and fourth wife," they are expected to say, "May Allah reward you well (for such encouraging words)"?! Rather, they might say, "May Allah not grant you good; morning or evening. May Allah not bless you for such advice. Have you found no other Sunnah but this matter [to encourage with]?! Call them to Tawheed, command them with prayer, command them to fast, and command them to obey Allah Almighty.

Nonetheless, one must be patient; if the advice aligns with the Book and the Sunnah, then a person should be patient. Some of our brothers, may Allah guide them, have recently created channels and WhatsApp groups for this purpose. Consequently, some women have responded with lengthy refutations, questioning their sincerity and noting that they seem to focus only on this issue from the entire religion.

Therefore, brothers, this matter requires a balanced approach, without excess or negligence. We do not forbid those who wish to marry a second, third, or fourth wife as permitted by Allah Almighty, nor do we excessively discuss this matter to the point of distressing women.

Our Sheikh Muqbil, may Allah have mercy on him, used to say: "If a man wants to marry, let him marry, but do not constantly tell her, 'I will marry another wife, I will bring someone better than you, I will do this and that.'" This kind of talk brings sorrow and sadness to her.

Once, some noble individuals came here and said, "I will give a lecture on polygyny." We said, "Brother, give a lecture on the etiquettes of marriage or preparation for marriage, and if you want to touch on the topic of polygyny within that context, then fine. But a specific lecture on polygyny may not be needed and could cause distress to women and aversion to this practice."

Nevertheless, we do not forbid what Allah has permitted, nor do we overly stress this matter. Allah mentioned it in one instance:
{فانكحوا ما طاب لكم من النساء مثنى وثلاث ورباع}
"Then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four." And He ﷻ added:
{فإن خفتم ألا تعدلوا فواحدة أو ما ملكت أيمانكم ذلك أدنى ألا تعولوا}
"But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice]."

So everything should be taken in its proper context.

Source:
https://t.me/A_lzoukory/60277

@womensbenefits

Telegram

قناة الشيخ عبدالحميد بن يحيى الزُّعكُري

***✍️*** الإجابة :- لا حرج من ذلك المؤمنون عند شروطهم ماتفقوا عليه جاز حتى ولو لم يعطي مبلغا وكان يعمل له مضاربة وأراد أن يعطيه النصف أو يعطيه الثلثين أو يعطيه الثلث كل هذا لا حرج عليه فالأصل في هذه المعاملات الإباحات وعلى ماكانت مابينهم من المشارطات إلا…

𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (210)
Is it permissible for a woman to perform ablution whilst menstruating and will she be rewarded for it?

Sheikh 'Abdulhamīd Az-Zu'kari ḥafidhahullāh said:

Certainly! It is permissible for her to perform ablution, and she will be rewarded, inshaAllah, for engaging in acts of obedience.

The Prophet ﷺ instructed the one in a state of major ritual impurity (Janābah) to perform ablution before sleeping, even though their prayer is not valid until they take a bath (ghusl). Similarly, there is no harm for a menstruating woman to perform ablution before sleeping or in a similar situations.

However, this ablution does not uplift the ritual state of impurity. She should not assume that this ablution uplifts her state of ritual impurity as long as she is menstruating and has not performed ghusl. Even if her menstruation ends and she performs ablution [before taking a bath], the ablution will not be valid.

Nonetheless, we cannot prevent her from performing ablution if she wishes to do so. One of the conditions for uplifting the state of impurity is the discontinuation of the cause, which also applies to major impurities; causes such as those intercourse, childbirth (nifas), and menstruation—ghusl is required after the cause has ceased.

@womensbenefits

𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (209)
Can I shake a non-mahram's hand if I'm wearing gloves?

Question: What is the ruling on shaking hands with a non-mahram woman, such as a cousin, and what is the status of the hadith that mentions the Prophet ﷺ being approached by a girl who would take him by the hand?

Sheikh Rashād Adh-Dhali'ee hafidahullah responded:

Shaking hands with a non-mahram woman, such as a cousin, is prohibited. There is a warning against this in the hadith reported by Ma’qil ibn Yasar (may Allah be pleased with him) in At-Tabarāni and others, where the Prophet ﷺ said: "For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than to touch a woman who is not permissible for him."

Some people, when approached by a non-mahram woman for a handshake, might place their hand slightly inside their shirt or wrap it with their turban before shaking hands. This is incorrect. The proper action is to refrain from shaking hands altogether. One should not place their hand inside their shirt sleeve, wrap it with their turban, or use any other method. Rather, one should completely abstain from shaking hands with a non-mahram woman.

Regarding the second point: the hadith in question is authentic and is found in Sahih Al-Bukhari, narrated by Anas (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: "A slave girl from the slaves of Madinah would take the hand of the Prophet ﷺ and lead him wherever she wished."

The meaning of this hadith is that she was a young girl whose hand was not impermissible to touch or shake. Similarly, if a person shakes hands with a young girl, it is not considered prohibited, and it does not lead to any temptation. Therefore, there is no issue with it. And Allah knows best.

Source:
https://t.me/rshad11/4951

𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (208)
Types of husbands & types of wives

This impressive lecture by Abu Fajr حفظه الله helps spouses identify shortcomings in order to rectify their marital home

@womensbenefits

𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (207)
Mothers denying breast milk to their infants may be a reason for them to be punished

عن أبي أُمَامَةَ الْبَاهِلِيُّ قَالَ: سَمِعْتُ رَسُولَ اللهِ ﷺ يَقُولُ: ((بَيْنَا أَنَا نَائِمٌ إِذْ أَتَانِي رَجُلَانِ، فَأَخَذَا بِضَبْعَيَّ، فَأَتَيَا بِي جَبَلًا وَعْرًا فَقَالَا: اصْعَدْ، فَقُلْتُ: إِنِّي لَا أُطِيقُهُ، فَقَالَا: إِنَّا سَنُسَهِّلُهُ لَكَ، فَصَعِدْتُ...)) فساق الحديث إلى أن قال: ((ثُمَّ انْطَلَقَ بِي، فَإِذَا أَنَا بِنِسَاءٍ تَنْهَشُ ثُدِيَّهُنَّ الْحَيَّاتُ، قُلْتُ: مَا بَالُ هَؤُلَاءِ؟ قَالَ: هَؤُلَاءِ يَمْنَعْنَ أَوْلَادَهُنَّ أَلْبَانَهُنَّ ..))

On the authority of Abu Umāmah Al-Bāhili, who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah ﷺ say: "While I was sleeping, two men came to me. They took hold of my arms and brought me to a rugged mountain. They said: 'Climb.' I replied: 'I am unable to.' They said: 'We will make it easy for you.' So I climbed...". The hadith continues until he said: "Then they took me along, and I came across women whose breasts were being bitten by snakes. I asked: 'What is the matter with these women?' They replied: 'These are the women who denied their children their milk...'".

Narrated by Ibn Khuzaymah (1986), Ibn Hibban (7491), and Al-Hakim (2837). Al-Hākim authenticated it according to the criteria of Muslim, and Adh-Dhahabi agreed with him. It was also authenticated by Sheikh Albani in "As-Silsilah As-Sahihah" (3951).

____

NOTE: Powdered infant formula can be used as an alternative:

The scholars of the Permanent Committee for Issuing Fatwas stated (21/7):

"It is incumbent upon a woman to breastfeed her children and ensure their well-being. She should not suffice with imported milk or any other substitute without (1) the consent of her husband after consultation, and (2) provided that it does not harm the children."

@womensbenefits

𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (206)
If a young girl (who has not reached puberty) passes infront of someone praying, Does this invalidate the prayer?

Sheikh Yūsuf Al-Jazaa’iri hafidahullāh said:

The ḥadīth that has come in this regard is specifically about a mature woman (1). If a woman passes in front of the person praying, that is, directly between him and his sutrah (screen), it invalidates his prayer. However, if she passes behind the sutrah, it does not invalidate his prayer. If a young girl passes in front of him, it does not invalidate his prayer. The focus is on whether the woman is mature or not. If a mature woman passes between the praying person and his sutrah, this invalidates the prayer.

____
(1) عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ: ((يَقْطَعُ الصَّلاَةَ الْمَرْأَةُ وَالْحِمَارُ وَالْكَلْبُ وَيَقِي ذَلِكَ مِثْلُ مُؤْخِرَةِ الرَّحْلِ)).‏
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: A woman, a donkey and a dog invalidate the prayer, but something like the back of a saddle guards against that. [Sahih Muslim (511)]

In the wording of Ibn 'Abbas [Reported by Abu Dawud (703) and others - authenticated by Sheikh Albāni]:
الْمَرْأَةُ الْحَائِضُ
"A menstruating woman (i.e. A mature woman)."

@womensbenefits