CUCUMBERS

Consider the ways of the little green cucumber, which never does its best fighting till it's down.—Stanford Chaparral.

*?? @one_story *| Культурные каналы

Telegram

Культура

Сергей Телеграменко invites you to add the folder “Культура”, which includes 11 chats.

CRITICISM

FIRST MUSIC CRITIC—"I wasted a whole evening by going to that new pianist's concert last night!"

SECOND MUSIC CRITIC—"Why?"

FIRST MUSIC CRITIC—"His playing was above criticism!"

*?? @one_story *| Культурные каналы

Telegram

Культура

Сергей Телеграменко invites you to add the folder “Культура”, which includes 11 chats.

COWS

Little Willie, being a city boy, had never seen a cow. While on a visit to his grandmother he walked out across the fields with his cousin John. A cow was grazing there, and Willie's curiosity was greatly excited.

"Oh, Cousin John, what is that?" he asked.

"Why, that is only a cow," John replied.

"And what are those things on her head?"

"Horns," answered John.

Before they had gone far the cow mooed long and loud.

Willie was astounded. Looking back, he demanded, in a very fever of interest:

"Which horn did she blow?"

*?? @one_story *| Культурные каналы

Telegram

Культура

Сергей Телеграменко invites you to add the folder “Культура”, which includes 11 chats.

A negro came running down the lane as though the Old Boy were after him.

"What are you running for, Mose?" called the colonel from the barn.

"I ain't a-runnin' fo'," shouted back Mose. "I'se a-runnin' from!"

*?? @one_story *| Культурные каналы

Telegram

Культура

Сергей Телеграменко invites you to add the folder “Культура”, which includes 11 chats.

Johnny hasn't been to school long, but he already holds some peculiar views regarding the administration of his particular room.

The other day he came home with a singularly morose look on his usually smiling face.

"Why, Johnny," said his mother, "what's the matter?"

"I ain't going to that old school no more," he fiercely announced.

"Why, Johnny," said his mother reproachfully, "you mustn't talk like that. What's wrong with the school?"

"I ain't goin' there no more," Johnny replied; "an" it's because all th' boys in my room is blamed old cowards!"

"Why, Johnny, Johnny!"

"Yes, they are. There was a boy whisperin' this mornin', an' teacher saw him an' bumped his head on th' desk ever an' ever so many times. An' those big cowards sat there an' didn't say quit nor nothin'. They let that old teacher bang th' head off th' poor little boy, an' they just sat there an' seen her do it!"

"And what did you do, Johnny?"

"I didn't do nothin'—I was the boy!"—Cleveland Plain Dealer.

*?? @one_story *| Культурные каналы

Telegram

Культура

Сергей Телеграменко invites you to add the folder “Культура”, which includes 11 chats.

MRS. PECK—"Henry, what would you do if burglars broke into our house some night?"

MR. PECK (valiantly)—"Humph! I should keep perfectly cool, my dear."

And when, a few nights later, burglars did break in, Henry kept his promise: he hid in the ice-box.

*?? @one_story *| Культурные каналы

Telegram

Культура

Сергей Телеграменко invites you to add the folder “Культура”, which includes 11 chats.

Here's to solitaire with a partner,

The only game in which one pair beats three of a kind.

*?? @one_story *| Культурные каналы

Telegram

Культура

Сергей Телеграменко invites you to add the folder “Культура”, which includes 11 chats.

"Jack and I have parted forever."

"Good gracious! What does that mean?"

"Means that I'll get a five-pound box of candy in about an hour."

*?? @one_story *| Культурные каналы

Telegram

Культура

Сергей Телеграменко invites you to add the folder “Культура”, which includes 11 chats.

Uncle Nehemiah, the proprietor of a ramshackle little hotel in Mobile, was aghast at finding a newly arrived guest with his arm around his daughter's waist.

"Mandy, tell that niggah to take his arm from around yo' wais'," he indignantly commanded.

"Tell him you'self," said Amanda. "He's a puffect stranger to me."

*?? @one_story *| Культурные каналы

Telegram

Культура

Сергей Телеграменко invites you to add the folder “Культура”, which includes 11 chats.

A very stout old lady, bustling through the park on a sweltering hot day, became aware that she was being closely followed by a rough-looking tramp.

"What do you mean by following me in this manner?" she indignantly demanded. The tramp slunk back a little. But when the stout lady resumed her walk he again took up his position directly behind her.

"See here," she exclaimed, wheeling angrily, "if you don't go away at once I shall call a policeman!"

The unfortunate man looked up at her appealingly.

"For Heaven's sake, kind lady, have mercy an' don't call a policeman; ye're the only shady spot in the whole park."

*?? @one_story *| Культурные каналы

Telegram

Культура

Сергей Телеграменко invites you to add the folder “Культура”, which includes 13 chats.