1. Do you really need it?
   Some students start learning English because “it is necessary”, “it's a shame not to know English” and “my friend Vovan studies English, maybe I am going to study with him too”. In my opinion, in your life you should do something you can’t live your days without. When you see “that one” activity, you realize exactly that you want to do it. It's like meeting the right person. There's a kind of certainty that it's yours and it can't be any other way.

I remember my first encounter with English. My dad brought me a book with Disney characters, we were reading words together and I thought something unreal was happening. Then I wrote down the words of the crab song from “The Little Mermaid” (of course, as a child I didn't understand them and wrote them down the way I understood them), only later did I understand the phrase that it was “under the sea”).

Then, already in the 6th grade I remember how happily I was writing down words on the topic “Kitchen” from the textbook “Happy English” and revised them a hundred times. Having become an adult, I was equally passionate about Spanish and Italian languages. If we talk about sports there were: pole dance, jumping and so on.

Whatever hobby I met on my way, I can call it using the only word – “magic.” At that moment something special happens, I feel goosebumps running on my body, it gets warmer in the collarbone area, my soul starts dancing. “Yes, it is mine!” Of course, the same happens when I drink wine, but that’s another story.

It is possible that you can love English less and still study it for a long time, but one thing is clear - if you have free time and you do not want to watch the news in English, learn some phrases, read something, in general do not use a free minute to interact with English, then ask yourself : “Do I really need it?”. It is obvious that periods of fatigue, apathy might appear while doing any activity, but even if at the beginning of the path there is not much enthusiasm, then ....

Here I am describing only personal experience and express my opinion. But I choose not to work with children whose parents say like this: “My child does not like English. You need to get him interested.” No! It is essential that a person comes to the lesson being interested, and we just make this passion for the subject stronger by using effective methods and interesting tasks.

This is a special moment.?

A new attempt to learn English. You enthusiastically buy new notebooks, order stationery on Ozon: pens and rainbow markers.

During a walk in the city centre you visit bookshops and ask about the foreign language section. At the checkout you already have several self-studies and adapted books with you. You spend a few evenings watching YouTube videos called “easy English grammar,” “how to learn English effectively”, “best English textbooks.”

You've already told all your friends that you are having your first lesson with a tutor on Monday. Breathe in, breathe out. 7pm.You meet your tutor online and demonstrate your English (a little bit forgotten). ?

8.05 pm. There's a light blush on your cheeks. The tutor seems to have cheered you up. You were completely frustrated when you could not remember the irregular verb forms, but some words popped up in your memory while you were chatting.

«Maybe I shouldn’t learn English? No, I need English! Oh, I'll have to learn something! I'll talk to foreigners while travelling.”
While one thought is fighting with the next one, which inevitably comes into your clear head in a tenth of a second, sweet and positive dreams of mastering English appear in your mind.

Here you are in a bar with a cheerful English speaker telling that “there are no bears walking in the centre of Moscow”. Your “th” is a pure interdental sound, you use a few idioms in this casual conversation, remember how to use the Present Perfect.

“Your English is great!”- says Bob. (Let it be Bob, as it was written in the Happy English textbook.)

“Oh, thank you! I don't think so!”- you reply like a modest Russian person. “One more glass of beer, please!”

Or imagine a situation at work. Roman Andreyevich (your boss) runs into the office being confused and loudly asks: “Is there anyone who knows English at an Intermediate level? Gennady, maybe you?” ?

Gennady lazily replies that he has forgotten everything and hasn't spoken English for a while. “This is my chance!” -you decisively offer your candidature, although you are a little bit scared.

Roman Andreevich looks at you in surprise, because he did not know that you had been studying English for a year. But he lacks an interpreter and it is urgent to translate negotiations with a foreign partner, “Well, let's go!” – there are no signs of enthusiasm in Roman's voice, because he has not checked your English level, but there is no time, and you quietly follow him to the negotiations. There is absolute silence and frozen tension. Your heart is racing, but you have to concentrate on your partner's words. Fortunately, he speaks slowly and intelligibly, and you translate his speech like a professional interpreter.

Phrase by phrase, your colleagues start respecting you more. You make one mistake in the word “delivery”, but you get help. The partner is satisfied, everyone smiled with relief and got back to their work. Roman Andreevich looks at you with warmth and respect and says that your English is awesome. Then, of course, you get a promotion, bonuses, business trips abroad, etc....

You are already smiling when your consciousness starts to create such wonderful images, you begin studying your favourite English, enthusiastically study for a month and... ?

Something goes wrong, you start cancelling lessons and here you are. You are not learning language again. Your dreams now are different. Englishman Bob does not understand what you have said, and your boss decides not to take you to the negotiations.

What to do to make dreams come true and not to let usual behavioural patterns take place in your life again?

Я написала мотивирующую гайд-книгу про то, как заниматься английским длительное время.

Тут выложу английскую версию, а дизайнер сейчас готовит русский гайд с переводом на английский.😄

Буду благодарна вашим лайкам 😃

Statistically, an average person often experiences bad thoughts during the day. I saw information somewhere that a person might feel sad 80 percent of time.

I can also dive into sadness, but it is wrong, sad and ineffective, so I start thinking about how to attract more happiness into my life.

Currently I am focusing on these points:

1.Noticing good things in the morning and evening.

After waking up, I take note of a few good things. Today these things were: I have almost recovered from a cold, it's summer, today, the cat licked my nose, my cpe class is going to be in some hours, there is an opportunity to study and concentrate on my blog, I have enough quantity of coffee and almond milk, everyone is alive and kicking (in general this is the main point, but for some reason I put things in such an order.)

At night it is worth practising this activity. At first glance it seems like a silly activity, but it helps to change my mindset (it sounds like the phrase of snake oil salesmen, but anyway it is worth doing it) and the next time I want to fixate on the bad again, my brain, trained to search for the good, will fight against the habitual patterns.

2.Finding things to do which help me to get into the flow state.

This is the state when time flies by and I don't notice time passing." It is not necessary that all things bring financial profit, they can improve any area of life, the main thing is that there should be more of them.

3.Financial Improvement.

It is not good to focus solely on money, but they is a need for it. It would be nice to be able to earn money without fretting about it.

Right now I'm working on finding that balance. In tutoring, I only teach students with whom we have mutual sympathy and pleasant cooperation without nervous situations.

1. Fixing everything which is within the area of control.

If I have the energy and time to work on something, I will work on it. It's too late to self-deceive and convince myself that I can't do something.

Anyone can exercise regularly, get healthy, improve their mental health, learn new skills. It's better to invest in my future happiness now than to find myself following the same path again in a month or a year.

5.Recognizing that there are problems and I need to fix them soon.

The list may seem to be presented in a toxic positivity style, but the overall message is different. It is possible that sometimes I have to face an unpleasant truth, no longer ignore what has been ignored for months, recognize that some points in life are not satisfying and start thinking about how to live differently.

It may happen that some time ago I was happy with everything ,but at some point the mindset changed and now everything is different.

What is your definition of happiness?

I don’t know exactly about the roots of the problem, but I keep noticing this sad trend among people I know-self-imposed restrictions concerning their age.

They vary from: “I have to decrease the amount of exercises” to “It is to late to study English, I have a lot on my plate. Also, my memory is not good anymore.”

Still there is not evidence that this is true. In most cases people who are 30+,40+,50+ possess energy, health, free time and can achieve new heights. Maybe it is public opinion that has to be blamed for it, maybe these people just let wrong thoughts eventually start running their life, anyway the outcome is the same- life of these people are restricted because of unnecessary misconceptions.

I remember vising my aerial ring performance. Among the participants there were girls from 4-17. In my group called “adults” there were two girls aged 15 and 17. It was hilarious that “their sum” was less than my age.

Nevertheless, it did not stop me from performing despite the fact that my appearance on the stage provoked puzzled expressions on people’s faces. But why should I refuse from the opportunity to practice my dancing and performing skills having been provided with such an option?

If to erase these “age restrictions” you can find yourself at a drawing lesson with children or at a yoga class with elderly women. It should not bother you at all as long you consider these activities useful and beneficial for your brain, mind and soul.

I can compare the world of opportunities with meals in an all-inclusive resort. Since there are no signs that you can't approach a certain kind of dish you can do it as many times as you wish. The only restriction is your shorts or pants.)

Outside world has become more inventive and keep making up more and more sophisticated ways on how to rule people. People who crave freedom and independency have less and less power to resist various kinds of pressure but still we have to be strong in order to stand for our happiness and well-being.☺️

The first painfully obvious trend is super productivity in order to earn as much money as possible. It is worth admitting that earning money will never be an easy task and remain the main area of concern as financial stability can make us calmer, healthier, enables to help our family and choose from a wide range of opportunities. Still the philosophy of working yourself into the ground in order to afford the most luxurious items and impress people still exists and living in a culture focused on consumerism might lead people astray.

It is natural to like comfortable life but do we need to sacrifice too many hours in order to buy too much comfort?

There are some items of clothing which will be worn once or even zero times, devices that are not needed and services which can not be called “value for money.” In my opinion, some guilty pleasures are needed for our soul but if to follow some principles of minimalism it can give you much freedom in the long run.

Now I am trying to differentiate important things from the imposed ones. When did it happen that nowadays too much emphasis is put on the perfect mixture of ingredients in a dish, the necessity of obtaining fashionable clothes and trying to look 18 even if you are 48?

It seems that real values are lost somewhere.🤨 Nobody talks about the sincere conversation with your friend when you share your hidden feelings and seek for genuine support, quality time with your partner when you don’t pose for a happy photo but do something to become happier, gaining satisfaction in your job (helping people, enjoying the process of work and not only waiting for a salary), paying attention to various areas of your life in order to discover some more strengths and get new impressions.

Someone will always try to misguide us in order to get what they want, but we have a right to stop and think over our real motives and desires and refuse even from popular, sought after things in case we don’t want them.