እንዳላቄም በደሉኝ እንዳልል ያደረገኝን መንፈስ ወይ ምን ባገኝ

የለ የለ አንቺ ነሽ የበደልሽ የሚለኝን ከሳሽ

ቅምጥል ሞልቃቃ
ደግም የትኛው ልብሽ ሊጎዳ?

እዘኑልኝ ባይ ደፋር ነውረኛ
ለበደልሽው ይቅር በለኝ ብልሽ ጨርሰሽ ነው ሌላ ተወቃሽ የምትፈልጊ ተረኛ?

ቀምሮ አሳምሮ እኔኑ ለራሴ ጠላት የሚያደርግ
ማነስን የሚሰብክ ሰው የመሆኔን መብት የሚነጥቅ...

Someday I might write a book and it will ONLY be about the concept of how nothing is permanent.

ታድዬ ከምልባቸው ነገሮች ዋነኛው is having the right people set me straight at the right time.

"ኤጭ አበዛሽው...ቀበጥሽ...ስርዓት ያዢ" መባሌን::

እሹሩሩ ተብዬ ቢሆን ኖሮ best believe I wouldn’t be alive, let alone write this.

I’m growing to hate social media solely for this reason, ትንሹም ትልቁም ማባባል የሚገባው ነገር አይደለም:: ቢሆን ደስ ባለን...some of the things you have to fix your spine up and take them hand in hand.

መድማት እና መቁሰል ያለ ነው but life goes on. If you trap yourself in the loop of over empathizing your traumatic experiences, there’s no breaking the cycle. አዲስ ነገር የለም...ሁሉም እንዲዳክር እኛም ዳካሪዎች ነን (I doubt that’s a word.)

እንደ እኔ ሰላመኛው solution is እንደምንም deal አድርጎ for the next battle grounds ራስን ማጎበዝ እና ሻል ብሎ መገኘት ነው::

You have to die and lose your breath a little to live.

እንጃ እንግዲህ :)

ድሮ ድሮ አባዬ ቅርጫ ቤት ያስገባ ነበር...በሬው እኛ ቤት ነበር የሚታረደው:: በዓል በመጣ ቁጥር ጉጉቴ በሬው ሲታረድ "ልይ በናታችሁ" እያልኩ ማልቀስ ነበር...traumatize እንዳያደርገኝ መሆኑ ነው ክልከላው:: የእኔስ ምን ይሉታል ግን? ከዛ ደግሞ ሁላችንም ተሰብስበን እስክንጫጫ...ምንም ደህና ነገር አናደርግም እኮ እሪ ለማለት ብቻ::

አሁን አሁን ደግሞ ጉጉት ቀርቶ ገና ሳስበው ደርሶ ማልቀስ ነው የሚያምረኝ:: ትንሽ ትንሽ እያለ በዓሉም...ሰዉም ለዛ እና ጠረኑን አጥቷል:: ምን ማጅራታችንን እንዳለን ብቻ እንጃ!

እናንተ! Merry Christmas💜

At this point y’all know how much I detest people in ቀበሌ, almost jumped an old lady today.

እናናዬ loved አውቶብስ so much.
If I said I had somewhere to be the next day her usual response is “ምን ችግር አለው ታድያ ይህቺ ቁጥር ታደርስሻለች...ስትመለሺም ከዛው ታገኛለሽ"
She worked at my school, from fourth grade to finishing high school we were together every morning and after school. The morning banters I miss so much, “እናና እኔ በ ባስ አልሄድም" "ታክሲ እኮ የለም ቆመሽ ታድርያታለሽ".
And after school “ዲቦዬ ነይ ቶሎ እንውጣ 87 እንዳታመልጠን" "ጎሽ 19 መጣች ነይ ቶሎ"
I was ashamed of using bus as a means of transportation because you know, teen complexes. I would give my life and everything to get to experience a bus ride with her again.
I’ve been avoiding the bus, pretend I didn’t see it. Even when I’m super late and I’m panicking. I took the bus the other day and suddenly she was everywhere. I also used to tuck my left hand in the crook of her elbow everyday, an explanation for why I fidget with my hands every morning not knowing what to do with them.
Insane how they’re no longer here but always make sure to stay in the most painful ways.

I don’t know what I expected my life to look like when I tirelessly dedicated myself to becoming a psychologist. By tirelessly dedicate I mean, fight my doubts and daily encourage myself it’s the right road.

If anything this job has taught me is that I absolutely knew nothing of this life and how emotionally draining it could be.

One day it’s the society, the other it’s being so torn apart about the reality of mental health and somedays it’s giving up believing there’s nothing more you can do.

I expect so much of myself, to help, fix, change and sometimes do miracles.
When I fall short of all these, I hate everything about the world and myself.

The little progresses I see everyday are more than answers and a push to whatever the future of this career holds.