Hafta davomida qaysi kitobni o'qiyapmiz?

The Rosie Project
Graeme Simsion
Sevgi - rizq. Seva olish, haqiqatdan yaxshi ko'rish hammamizga ham nasib qilmasligi mumkin. Lekin u qanday hayotimizga kirib qoladi, qachon sevib qolamiz, kim bilan hayotimizni butun umrga bog'lashni xohlaymiz, hammasi mavhum. U kutilmaganda, kutmagan odamimizda, umuman o'zgacha keladi. Uni sezmay qolishimiz, ortga surishimiz, o'zimizdan uzoqlashtirishimiz mumkin, lekin u doim biz bilan, ko'nglimizning bir chekkasida doim yashaydi. Uni sezish, sezmaslik, qabul qilish, qilmaslik, o'zimizning ishimiz.

Aniqlanmagan autizmi bo'lgan Don ham yoshi o'tib borgan sari hayotini bog'lashga odam qidirib boshlaydi. Uning injiqliklarini ko'taradigan, u doim o'zini qulay his qiladigan odamning sifatlarini ro'yxat qila boshlaydi. Juda ko'p odamlar bilan tez-tez ko'rishadi, eng ma'qul kelgani ham uni ko'nglidagidek bo'lib chiqmaydi. Hissiyotlari oddiy odamlardagidek bo'lmagani bois ham, tushkunlikka tushadi. Ko'ngilsizlikda ayblanadi.

Biroq uning hayotini iliq sevgi o'ray boshlaydi. Unga qulaylik, butunligicha o'zi bo'lish, xavotirsiz yashash, quvnoqlikni bera boshlaydi. Nega unga bular muhim edi?

Autizm miyaning emotsiyalarga javob beradigan sohasini kuchsizlantiradi. Autistlar juda kam tuyg'ularni his qilishlari, odamlarga nisbatan "empathy" ham tuymasliklari mumkin. Kino va kitoblardagi qahramonlarni ham shunchaki bir voqea sifatida ko'rib, umuman hissiyotlarga berilmasliklari, qo'shiqlar eshitmasliklari, atrofidagi odamlarning hayotiga umuman qiziqish yo'qotishlari, xullas butun umr ham tuyg'usiz qolib ketishlari mumkin. Balki seva olishmasliklari ham mumkin. Hattoki, odamlarni quchish ham ular uchun juda noqulay holat bo'lib, begonalar bilan shunchaki suhbat qurish ham juda qiyin va ko'p kuch talab qiladi ulardan.

Lekin atrofida uning holatini tushunadigan, unga moslasha oladigan, uni seva oladigan odamlar bilan yaxshi, uzoq va qulaylikda yashashlari mumkin. Ular uchun tuyg'ulari to'lib toshgan odamlar muhim. Ularni to'ldirib turishlari mumkin.

Sevgi qiziq tuyg'u. It can make you break your own rules for a stranger for the sake of love. Don broke all of his rules, tried to change his behavior, made sacrifices for love, for the thing that made his life more beautiful.

@MinnesotanPeggy

The definition of first love...?! There is an experiment. A baby monkey was isolated from his mother at birth. After that, he was given two other fake mothers who were made of wire and cloth. The fake wire mother had the ability to do nursing him with her…

The definition of first love...?!

There is an experiment. A baby monkey was isolated from his mother at birth. After that, he was given two other fake mothers who were made of wire and cloth. The fake wire mother had the ability to do nursing him with her milk, and the second cloth mother did not have this ability. The only thing she had was that she was a bit more cuddly. Some time has passed, and experimentors let the baby monkey go outside and choose a mother. At first, he went to the wire mother because he was hungry. After he got his milk, he immediately turned around and jumped to his cloth mother. He cuddled, kissed, showed his need to get emotional response and safety. Then, the baby monkey was exposed to outside danger, they made him get scared and monitor the results. He again went to his cloth mother to get safety. Why is so? Why he did not go to the wire mother who could feed him?

The first person we tend to build a special bond is our mothers. Even though sometimes they don't have the ability to do nursing, we still love them from early on. Because they show care at all costs. When babies get uncomfortable, they cry. Most of the time, mothers are the first person who cuddles, soothers, and gives first emotional support. This is why we love them. Their love is not about providing our basic needs. Everyone can do that. But bonding and building a secure attachment is their key to earn our love. Mothers, are indeed, our first love in most cases.

Same goes for any kind of love. We don't love someone for the fact that they can provide our basic needs fully. We love people for their care, their love, support. We love people because we know that they are by our side in times of struggle, danger, discomfort, pain. Because humans are hardwired to social interactions. It is in our genes, history, and everything. We cannot deny this fact. Therefore, we always seek for secure base and safe haven from people we love.

@MinnesotanPeggy

Qush uyasida ko'rganini qiladi, rostdan ham shunaqami?

Yangi tug'ilgan chaqaloqni 24 soatdan keyin qo'lingizga olsangiz va uni yuzingizga yaqin tutib va o'zingizga qaratib, har xil yuz ifodalari, ayniqsa til chiqarish, xo'mrayish, jilmayishlar qilsangiz, u ham bularni takrorlaydi. Tug'ilganiga hali endigina 1 kun bo'lgan bola sizning harakatlaringizi ko'chirishni boshlaydi. Nega?

Miyamizda neyronlar ko'payish jarayonida ko'zgu neyronlar (mirror neurons) ham rivojlanadi. Dunyoni ko'rgan onimizdan boshlab atrofimizdagi odamlardan ko'chira boshlaymiz. Yuz ifodalarni esa o'zimiz bilmagan holda o'rganamiz. 24 soatlik chaqaloq hali o'zining yuzi borligini ham bilmaydi, lekin neyronlari xuddi ko'zgudek ishlab, uning yuzini harakatga keltiradi. Har bir motor harakatlarimiz, yurishni o'rganishimiz, emaklashimiz, ayniqsa tilimiz chiqishi atrofdagi ko'chirmalarning natijasidir.

Inson dunyoga har tomonlama tayyor bo'lib tug'iladi. Yashab qolish uchun chaqaloq o'zidagi hamma narsani ishlatadi. Hatto uning yoqimtoyligi ham uning "survival skill"i. Keyin atrofdan ma'lumotlar qabul qilib boshlagach, ularni miyasi ko'chirib boshlaydi. Eng qizig'i, ko'zgu neuronlar qaysi tilda gapirishimizni ham ko'chiradi. Ota-onamiz qaysi tilda so'zlashishsa, xuddi o'sha tilda gapirishni boshlaymiz.

Endi o'ylab ko'ring, uyimizdagi odatlar, qoidalar, kattalar tomonidan qilinadigan hamma ishlarni bolalar o'zlari anglamagan holda ko'chirishadi, namuna olishadi. Ularning hammasini ko'rib ulg'ayganimiz sari jarayonlar murakkablashib boradi. Avval yuz ifodalari, tana harakatlari, til, keyinchalik emotsional holatimiz ham oilamizdagi ko'chirmalardan andaza olgan holicha shakllanadi.

Interesting, but a bit scary, huh?

@MinnesotanPeggy

100% is a Breeze and 99% is a B!tch direct quote
It is disproportionately easier** to commit to something 100% than to commit to something 99%. The difference is just 1%, but it can be the difference between success and failure. But why?

When you’re not 100% committed, you leave room for negotiation with yourself. There’s always space for an exception, an excuse. You find yourself thinking, “Skipping one day won’t hurt,” or “Doing it just this once won’t hurt.” That 1% gap leads to doubt, procrastination, inconsistency, and eventually, giving up.

At 99%, you’re constantly faced with a dilemma because every next action could be the 1% you allow yourself to skip. This constant mental tug-of-war between doing it or not doing it is draining.

100% is much easier to stick to. There’s no room for negotiation, doubt, or hesitation. You’re all in. You don’t have to make a conscious choice every time, saving yourself from decision fatigue. Being 100% committed makes things flow.
That 1% is disproportionately annoying and hard. At 100%, you leave no room for excuses. At 99%, excuses are always an option. The mental burden of making a choice disappears when you’re fully committed.

99% sounds almost perfect, but in reality, you’re always on the fence—half in, half out. Indecision drains much more energy than fully committing.

Why does 100% work?

Because 100% brings consistency: you show up every day, no matter what, which creates momentum and builds results. Because 100% brings clarity: you stop overthinking and simply act, and that action keeps pushing you forward. Because 100% brings freedom from guilt: at 99%, you constantly question whether you’re doing enough, but at 100%, you know you are.

Where does the 100% rule apply?

EVERYWHERE. Whether it’s fitness, a hobby, work, or relationships, 100% commitment is always better than 99%. Leave no room for excuses. Commit to your goal 100%.

“But Javohir, striving for perfection will lead to failure because we can’t be perfect, we’re human, bla bla bla…”

I’m glad you asked. The point I’m making isn’t about being perfect or never making mistakes—it’s about committing 100%. Yes, life happens. You might miss a workout, or something unexpected might disrupt your plans. But 100% commitment is about mindset, not flawless execution.

When you’re 100% committed, even if you slip up, you get back on track without hesitation. The difference between 99% and 100% isn’t about avoiding every misstep; it’s about removing doubt and excuses. With 100% commitment, setbacks don’t define you because you’re still fully invested. You’ll keep pushing forward the next day.

@javohirakramov

Ko'chada bir quchoq gul ko'tarib yurish >>>

#internshipdangapiramiz

Supervisor'imdan a day off so'raganimda:

- Ertaga kelmasam bo'ladimi?
- Nega?
- Ayamni sog'indim, ko'rgim kelebdi.
- Uyga bormadingizmi hali?
- Yo'q, 4 kun bo'ldi. Gul olib qo'ygandim, so'lib qoladi)

Rostini aytvordim, mandan nima ketdi :)

Zo'r savol kelibdi. Let's answer this question, together! I was also a student at the specialized school (we say maktab-internat) What do you guys think?