I refuse to be the victim much longer and I want to take control over my life.

i want a handsome, tall, sassy, nerdy man

i’ve processed my emotions, i don’t know what else to write anymore and i like to think of it as a good thing.

still to this day i struggle to give myself the love i give so freely to others. sometimes i hate myself for it. i wish i can trust that other people are not like my father who would so easily give hate.

one of my loudest love language is gift giving and act of service. yes, i will buy you flowers and i will make notes of things that you like so i don’t forget. i will bake you cookies and drive to your place. whatever you like to eat, i will learn to cook it and i am willing to go an extra mile to make you feel loved. i don’t know where to put all this love, sometimes it’s overwhelming.

you have to be kinder to yourself, give yourself more grace. you are all you have. it’s going to be okay, you overcame difficult times before and you will overcome it again.

the urge to give “just because” flowers to my girlfriends on a random tuesday.

i’m not sad, just need to do a quick express pilates on youtube “Move with Nicole”.

my bowel movement is sometimes unpredictable. i have to meticulously plan my meals and exactly how long it’d take me to go to the bathroom.

this life isn’t yours if you keep worrying about what people think of you.