السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

A lot of people have asked why my
behavior has been so strange. I'll explain everything here:

First: I am not trying to excuse what I did, and I apologize for doing that. Rather, I'm writing this so people know that I'm not completely insane. And why my behavior on this channel has been so erratic.

For the last two years, I've been arguing with my family about religious issues. During last Christmas (I told them its forbidden to celebrate it because we are Muslim), they straight up kicked me out.

"Don't come back until you've changed."

Then said that feds were watching the house because of me (I don't know how true that is, but it made me extremely paranoid. This paranoia only grew worse as time went on). I felt like I was constantly being watched, and analyzed everything too deeply.

I have dealt them before, perhaps that traumatized me somehow. Which probably contributed to this paranoia.

I don't know in all honestly.

I couldn't find a place to stay. So I started working jobs to pay rent, I ended up in a cheap place with 5 roommates. I couldnt afford anything else, and that was most of my pay check. Most of them have some kind of substance abuse issue (drug addicts & drunks). I noticed my money and clothes disappearing sometimes. I sleep in the same room as 2 of them, so I can't get good sleep at all. I end up staying awake for 2 days, then I fall asleep from exhaustion.

During the night, I started talking to a lot of random accounts. They were posting suspicious content and constantly spoke about feds and raids, this made my paranoia even worse.

I felt sick constantly and couldn't buy food, so I started living off of protein drinks, cereal, and energy drinks.

I feel like I'm half awake most of the time. Sometimes I randomly spam, sometimes I troll because I had nothing better to do in that room. I apologize for this, I should've thought before I started sending messages

As for the accusations made, it was the result of built up paranoia and lack of mental functioning. I started to connect dots that didn't actually connect, it sounds crazy, but it seemed 100% like a real threat in my head.