'Einstein's theories solved a longstanding mystery about Mercury: Why it gets so hot. "It's because," he pointed out, "the sun is right there."'

1. "Beam of Light"

'Anadromous fish are more vulnerable in rivers, since the lack of salt means you can quickly crack passwords using rainbow trout tables.'

'Attention all passengers: This is an express sequence to infinity. If your stop is not a power of two, please disembark now.'

1. "Number Line Branch"

'Ugh, and we JUST went through this yesterday with javelin.'

1. "Routine Maintenance"

'Although Kansas is widely thought to contain the geographic center of the contiguous 48 states, topologists now believe that it's actually their outer edge.'

'We're right under the flight path for the scheduled orbital launch, but don't worry--it's too cold out for the rockets to operate safely, so I'm sure they'll postpone.'