From chat:
"Indeed. They all have nonsensical meme religions. Most protestant groups are just focused on some gimmick. Pentecostals literally make Pentecost and the Holy Spirit into their gimmick. All of them are reaching for the real deal like touching an elephant in the dark, and they figure out there's a trunk and a tail and horns, but they never realize their little aspects are actually united in Catholicism. We have the priests of Presbyterianism (named for its gimmick being that they have priests), the bishops of Episcopalianism (yes seriously), Baptism, the Holy Spirit, etc. They're all touching some random aspect of God and naming their religion something like "Agape" because they heard of the NT using the word agape to refer to God's love for us. They have one line of the scripture they can recite again and again. We have it all. If you have one little bit of it, then of course you make no sense. You need the whole story. You need the whole sacred scripture. You need the whole faith."

I shall add to this: While they divide up the faith into small parts to digest in isolation, they also do so while constantly projecting onto the Church an obsession with coin. I once spoke to a Presbyterian presbyter who told me: "The only difference between the denominations is the tax ID number." They were established for money. They chip off aspects of the true faith and sell them for money, reducing the Christian religion to a marketing gimmick and tax loophole. It's a tragic occurrence.