“The flower of life”
50x64 cm
Gouache, coloured pencils

How to recognise that the owner of the bar in Lisbon prob had something in Moscow before

The question is how different it will be at the end

I think I can cry if I say “I’m a woman” in front of the mirror. In my girlhood I was very uncomfortable in my body and head. But it will be the tears of pride. I’ve spent years to make my voice heard. I unpacked the side of me I was scared. Anger, ambition, stubbornness. All what I associated with my father and didn’t like about him actually saved my dignity and gave the fuel to do what I’m doing now. 

I know you have a series about childhood, what emotions or ideas did you wish to capture with it and do you think you were successful?

Childhood series made me feel empty and I think I captured it. I understood that I lost a lot of memories about my grandparents. My childhood finished when they died. I haven’t had a chance to know them as people, I knew them doing their role in my life. I had child days full of warm and sunlight. If my childhood was a place it would be the kitchen in my grandparents house. Adults are busy with everyday things in the village, fresh bread and borsch on the table, cats playing with flies, huge vegetable garden and forest view. Grandma is making braids on my head, grandad brought ice cream for me and great grandma is baking blini. I feel empty because they will never know that I remember it. 

Is there a difference between the fundamental messaging of the pieces that you want to get across vs what message audiences take from it?

Sure, as soon as my art is based on my memories no one else experienced it. Even the person who I created this memory with will remember it differently. This is what I love about memory. It never stays the same and it’s changing during the lifetime. Sometimes we start to feel anger about events that made us feel love. For me as for the artist it means that only my attention and memory are really mine and unique, but there is no correct way to experience my art. I always listen with interest when someone shares with me the message they got from it. 

How have your life experiences influenced your art?

My art is my experience 100%. As I said it’s all I have. When I left Russia and lived on Sri Lanka I was thinking about freedom a lot. In different scale. Free citizen, artist, human. I only managed to find black pen for drawing there. I came to conclusion that being free means being able to choose. So I took what I had and made my first artworks. Using only three things. Memory, pen and fabric. 

How has your culture influenced your work?
In terms of artworks for now I think not much. One year ago I made small art series about my childhood and it made me feel so much pain and sorrow. While my country is committing war crimes it’s hard for me to feel this connection. But I’m getting stronger outside, to maybe come back to this topic. 

Anyway my culture influenced me. I can’t run away from it, and I don’t want to. 

What inspires you to draw, other artists, the world around you?
For the process I don’t need inspiration, I draw every day. But for ideas the most I feel inspired by the urge to capture the feeling about something/someone now. 

Has social media had a big impact on your career?
Social media is a blessing. I think people in the internet are amazing and they push me with their support in a very gentle way. 

Do you have a favourite medium, if so why?

Black pen definitely. I love to feel the connection with me on Sri Lanka making first steps. And I can find it everywhere. 

Describe your creative process. How do you go from concept to finished piece?

My art is mostly moved by romantic interactions. There is the whole world of non verbal things around the person. Associations with tastes, objects, sounds. And feeling of course. All concepts come from me noticing details. And some connections became really strong. For example, I fell in love with a man when I was in Sri Lanka, then he left back home to Switzerland. And I was thinking about him a lot, while I was alone on the shore, watching the ocean and collecting seashells and corals. Now every time I see a shell I always think of him, even though he is gone from my life. 

How do you handle creative blocks?

I don’t have creative blocks, since I can switch between painting, drawing and creating content for media. Just following the rule “it’s better done than perfect”.

Do you have a dream project or goal in mind, art wise, that you are aiming towards?

Solo exhibition of course. But also I would love to make decorations for the theatre once. 

What motivates you to paint and sketch?
Understanding that time will erase my memories and they can stay in art. 

How do you approach figuring out a colour palette or medium for your piece, is it just something you instinctually know?
For colour palette I usually watch artists from the previous century, but then I move with the flow. Changing till I’m satisfied. 

Is there a piece you consider a striking turning point or pinnacle in your art journey?

No, but I have my favourite pieces. They are just precious to me because of the memories, not skill wise. 

What aspects of humanity do you aim to capture in your works?

The connection between people who don’t know what love is, but looking for it. I see it nowadays a lot. The beauty of trying again, healing and hoping. 

Does the word girlhood mean anything to you, or bring up any memories or buzz words for you?