자신을 믿고 내일을 믿으십시오

Trust yourself and believe in tomorrow

@thebudakpena

Don't clip your wings, fly high ?️

@thebudakpena

In good times and bad times
I should have love myself more —

Despite get drowning in the red river full of rage
Despite getting thrown with stones of hates
Despite the overflow words of discouragement.

The endless little tears that keep coming down
The silent shouts that break the heart into pieces
The numbness tighten throughout the body's nerves.

I guess where I wish it should end
Suppose to end regardless the fear.

Let go and still —
I should have love myself more.

@thebudakpena

yang tertulis pergi;
aku noktah tanda mati
kisah di sebalik warkah
kirim kembali asal diri.

yang melangkah pergi;
tidak terungkap jelas posisi
rambang menikam butir kata
akhir cela memati rasa.

usir pergi sekian lama;
kembali tiba tiada rasa
terukir sudah di pesisir
hilang jejak saat mampir.

— ombak diseru bayu.

2023, Feb 21 || K

@thebudakpena

Did you ever ask me what I really want to do? Have you ever ask me am I okay or not? Did you ever compliment me for doing better? Have you ever ask me if I'm doing well or not? No, you never did. So, just stop wondering why I'm good at hiding, why I'm okay with being alone. I might need your help but I just don't want to. I'm struggling too, but I'm doing good. Don't worry too much. Send me du'as :)

@thebudakpena

Kadang tu lupa, kita sebenarnya mampu ja, bukannya tak mampu. Walaupun hari-hari dalam _surviving mode_ umpama tersepit di ruang perang, tapi iya — ini medan perang kita (dari sekecil-kecil hal sehingga sebesar-besar perkara).

"Tidak diuji seseorang melebihi kemampuannya.", lalu apa lagi yang tidak menyakinkan pada rencana-Nya Dia?

Lelah-rebah-jatuh-dan-luka sekadar episod mini yang tak mungkin tidak ada nilainya pada masa yang akan datang.

Percaya janji Dia.
Perjaya janji الله

Dan tetaplah bertahan, wahai aku.

[ 2022, Disember 5 ]
@thebudakpena

I don't mind with going solo;
Not like you -- being so low.

Spreading lies-telling shits;
All tattletaling I'm all hearing,
Like I don't know things 'bout you,
Yeah, poker face I'm just pretending,
But, no, I'm not like you whispering.

Keeping values inside a heart;
Shutting words all trapped in mind,
Even little thoughts doesn't cut off,
Draining energy since the day starts.

Negativities all flow in fast;
From the right side to the left,
Just learn to let them gone pass,
Even the veins cut don't let it bleed,
Like the blade behind your back
Kinda pet peeve.

Another day, another day being solo;
Yeah keep inhale exhale breathing,
Just so we know you oo go YOLO,
Pick your pace stay peace no fighting,
That's unfair everyone surely knows,
But at least you'll be control in doing

— Solo.

@thebudakpena

Iya, mereka lupa --
bahwa aku juga manusia.

Yang punya hati punya rasa;
Cukup retak untuk berduka lama,
Cukup patah untuk tumbuh semula.

Mereka yang menyangka menang
memanah kata sinis-dan-dusta;
kita yang mencuba 'tuk tenang
menyimpul sembuh pada luka.

Adilkah diri 'tuk berjuang?
Kerah tenaga sia-sia cuma.

Tapi asa ku juga tidak putus --
untuk bernafas sehari lagi.

Sekali lagi.

[ Oktober 16, Aisy ]

@thebudakpena

Sebodoh-bodoh Si Nopal,
Bodoh lagi si batu api.

Cakap tiada tapis.
Minda jelik tak celik.
Putar belit kata sarkastik.
Dibalik herdik hingusan pelik.

Bodoh-sebodohnya,
Jangan mengikut terlunjuk.
Entah apa yang berparut.
Terlantang luas lautan ruang.

Kesal.

@thebudakpena