Qachonlardir kimgadir otilgan tosh
Qaytib kelar, sindirib qosh-u bosh
Nafrat-la yashamoq ne uchun joiz
Umr qisqa, bizlar oddiy bandamiz ojiz

#poetry
@bornleader_community

Qiziq tomoni shundaki, xursandchilikdan ko’ra qayg’u insonlarni o’zaro yaxshi birlashtira oladi. Menimcha, buning sababi insoniylik bo’lsa kerak.

#Midnight_thoughts

Farg’ona - ona shahrim!
Yangiliklarni o’qimasligim tufayli, bilmabman ham. Essiz…

I talked to my mom over phone a thousand times. She is the one with whom I spent the majority of my life; dad being in abroad all the time while my sister and brother having lived in dorms and apartments due their work/study commitments in different times of my past.

I mean we two have been together each other more than anyone else. My mom called me when I was in a lesson. She called every time when I used to leave home for camps/conferences/trips for short time. She didn't stop calling me every day when I was living in Tashkent. She even now calls me every day when I am studying abroad. At least for a minute or two of talk, to know how I am doing.

In those countless phone conversations of us, there are two I particularly remember. Only two times did I hear my mom crying over phone. I think that is the reason why those two have been stuck at my mind because she always told me something while crying. Those two phone calls...

1. May 22. It was near my 9th grade graduation at my lovely lyceum. Around lunch time, I finished playing PlayStation with friends and was crossing the big asfalt road headed to my English class. My phone suddenly started ringing when I was standing in the center of car road. I picked up to answer my mom, and she was crying. I neither saw nor heard such a high level of weep of my mom. I could sense the suffering and grief from her voice. My mom called me to tell that my grandpa (her father) passed away.

This was unexpected, for me. I had never before thought that grandpas would die. It was the first time I lost someone very close. Someone I could rely on shoulders. Someone that had never seemed to leave us. My-16-year-old self did not tell it to anyone. I saw the harsh evidence of my realization: eternity is not applicable to humans. My mom was the one to make that phone call and made me undergo through it. It was not an easy year for all of us.

1. October 11. Two months passed since the second phone call with my mom. Quite recently, right? I was in a different country, hustling through chaotic life. As soon as I answered her "zvonok" on Telegram, I ,again, for the second time, heard that upsetting cry. My heart broke into hundred pieces because my mom was sobbing to tell what I badly do not want to hear. I knew something bad had happened: my grandma (father's mom) had gone to sleep.

Again it was mom who had to share the news. Again it was mom who had to cry while talking to me. I couldn't do a farewell to my grandma. I couldn't have a last talk with my grandma. I was weakly incapable! I didn't think of her death like I hadn't thought about grandpa's death three years ago. Both occurred when I was not ready. Funny question is, how can a person be "ready" for such a event? At that day, I wrote a letter to death. I complained a lot. I criticized death.

You know what is more scarier? I am gonna have the third phone call when my mom will be crying again in the future. It will also be the fourth. There are obviously days when I will have to make phone conversations feeling mom's cry droppings over distance.

The two calls were one of the worst experiences I have ever had. And I talk to my mom every day. I do not want to hear her crying. But it does happen sometime. It does.

Aytgancha, meni yaxshi inson ekanligimni bilganlaring uchun, yutgan odam bilan yozishgan chatimni va unga tashlab bergan pulim tranzaksiyasini kanalga tashlamay qo’yaverdim)

#humour

Shunisi yoqdi. Zarnigor, tabriklayman. @ibrohimjonreal, o'zimga yozib yuborsangiz, pirashki banket uchun summani tashlab beraman).

Menga juda yoqqan uch to'rtta variantlarni ko'rdim, kreativ va o'ta reflective. Umuman olganda, hammadan turli xil versiyalar yangradi. Shunisi eng muhimi edi men uchun.

Negaki, bir manzaraga ikkinchi bor o'zgacha nigoh bilan boqish ham kashfiyot (discovery) hisoblanadi. Shuning uchun biz eshita olishimiz kerak. So'rashimiz kerak ikkinchi tomondan.

Hamma yozganlarga rahmat, afsuski bir kishinigina tanlashim kerak edi. Ichimdan qanaqadir ovoz yuqoridagi versiyani tanladi; rostdan ham oila uchun nima qilsangda arziydi.

Birinchi ikkita finaldan yaxshi o’tib oldim. Nasib qilsa, yaxshi chiqar natijalari. Yana qolgan ikkitasini ketma-ket dushanba seshanba topshirib olsam, yangi yilgacha erkin qushga aylanaman.

Uch kundan beri uyga uxlagani kelmaganim uchun bugun o’zimga dam bermoqchiman ozgina. Ertadan yana dushanba kungi imtixonlar uchun tayyorlanishni davom ettirardim.

O’sha oldingi aytgan gapim: qorning och bo’lsada, miyang och bo’lmasin. Unga yegani nimadir berib tur. Balki bugun hikoyami yozvorarman, ko’ramiz)

Wrapped qilib jo’natay desam men ham, Spotify’da muzika eshitmaymanda)

@bornleader_community

Agar odamlar o'z vaznlariga proportional tarzda imtixonda baholar olganida, men bir umr 3 baho ham ololmasdan o'tib ketardim)

#humour

Qachonki long read postlar ko'paysa blogdan odamlar chiqib ketishni boshlaydi)