I don’t think you need me to tell you nagging, yelling and spanking children doesn’t work.

It doesn’t make you feel good, and it rarely makes your child behave better

It doesn’t help them do homework assignments or complete their homeschool studies

It doesn’t help them tidy their room or pick up their shoes from the front door.

And it certainly doesn’t stop them fighting with their siblings!

So why do so many mumas continue to use the same ineffective parenting strategies even though they often cause stress and hurt for both YOU and your children?

You try to stay calm

You try to stay cool

You try to stay in control

But you can’t help it! It’s like a button is pressed and BOOM, an instant regression to what you know -nag, yell, scream, confiscate everything and grounded for a month. Anything to make the kids know you mean business and you WILL be obeyed!

Maybe you HAVE tried the “positive parenting” way.

You understand respectful parenting focuses on long-term results that raise strong, independent, capable and responsible adults rather than short-term fixes that don’t.

But you still find yourself unable to control your anger and so you’re left thinking these strategies just do not work

If you find this is you, you might want to consider that you need to “reparent” yourself to parent your kids

You might need to do a little inner work to understand WHY you react the way you do and WHY you have those triggers

You might want to address what’s going on deep inside you, so you can reparent yourself with compassion, love and trust

Mums Unstuck is a phenomenal membership community for Muslim mums who want to work on their personal growth alongside enhancing parenting skills and insight to help children reach their best potential, insha’Allah.

We do the inner work to understand the emotional woundings that unleash your anger, and start to break through the limiting beliefs that entrap you as you skill-up…because when you grow, your children grow too

When you feel good about yourself on the inside, you walk different, you talk different, you PARENT different

Ready for change?
Join us before Jan 31st to lock in the best offer - new member prices increase Feb 1st
Www.mumsunstuck.com

🧡Getting children to talk sometimes can feel like a game of tug-of-war—you pull and pull, but they just won’t budge.

The harder you try, the more they shut down.

Here’s the secret: it’s not about pulling harder; it’s about creating a space where they feel safe enough to let go...

Most of the time, when children and teens don’t say much, it’s not because they don’t want to talk—it’s because they don’t feel safe enough to do so.

Safe from judgment.
Safe from overreactions.
Safe from being misunderstood.
Safe from another lecture.

Here’s a BIG question for you—and if you're serious about wanting to build positive lasting change, you're going to take it and answer it.

➡️ How safe do your children feel in their relationship with you?

Think about it:

❓What message have your reactions over the years given them?

❓What message has the time (or lack of time) you’ve spent together communicated?

We often assume that the parent-child relationship automatically means we have a relationship but does it really?

Relationships have to be nurtured constantly otherwise they fall apart.

To have trust and safety in a relationship, there MUST be intentional quality time together.

Without time, there’s no relationship.
⬇️
Without a relationship, there’s no trust.
⬇️
Without trust, there’s no safety.

If you want your children to open up to you, shift your focus. Instead of trying to pull answers out of them, focus on connecting with them.

To build connection:

✅Spend quality time together DAILY. These are your children—not colleagues!

✅Be genuinely interested in their world and what matters to them.

✅Have BIG juicy conversations about the stuff that matters to them..... not you!

And here’s the most important part: knowing that creating safety starts with you.

Your children need to know they can trust your response when they share, even if what they say is hard to hear.

If your reactions are rooted in anger, judgement and criticism, they’ll instinctively pull back. Silence will feel safer than opening up.

It’s not about being a "perfect" parent - none of us are.... it’s about being a safe one🧡

➡️Ready to be that safe parent?
Join me inside the membership and I'll show you how (join before Jan 31st to lock in the best offer - price increases Feb 1st)
www.mumsunstuck.com

FREE access ends today ladies!

If you want to join the membership but are unsure, take the first step with this FREE access to the first video from the 90 Day Intentional Parenting Tool Kit training...

I'll take you through a simple exercise that will make clear to you what it is you want AND just as importantly, what you DON'T want, as a muma....

There's about 12 hours left unill the video is pulled Once it is gone, it is gone!
https://mumsunstuck.com/want_in

We think parenting is about raising children, but the truth is, it’s much more about raising ourselves…

We raise our children upon the standards we accept and tolerate for ourselves.

The way we eat, the way we talk, the way we move, the way we behave, the way we interact with others, the way we express our feelings, the way we communicate, the way we hold down the home, the way we work, the way we worship Allah…

The way we talk to their father teaches our children how they should talk to him (and yes, equally, the way their father talks to us, teaches our children how they should talk to us)

All of it, shows our children what they should be, what they should do and what they should expect is “normal”

The hardest part of being a parent is raising ourselves, correcting ourselves, holding ourselves to account…. Because where we lead is where our children will follow.

We cannot be something different to what we are telling our children they should or shouldn’t be

We cannot do something different to what we are telling our children they should or shouldn’t do

We cannot have something different to what we are telling our children they can or can’t have

What does that mean?

If we are rude, aggressive and mean when dealing with the kids misbehaviour or mistakes, why would be expect them not to be?

If we blame everyone else for our anger instead of taking self-responsibility for how we react to it, why would we expect them to be any different?

If we are addicted to our mobile phones, why would be expect them not to?

99% of parenting isn’t about managing our children’s behaviour and emotions…

99% of parenting is about managing our own!

If you want your children to change, the first one who must change is you.

And when you work on changing yourself, be patient. Be patient with yourself because breaking old habits is hard work….

AND…

Be patient with your children…

You might be trying to be and do better today…

But they are going to need some time to catch up.

Be patient.

Keep going.

Ps.
Ready to take the first step toward building positive lasting change for yourself AND for your children?

Access the FIRST video training from the membership until Sunday (tomorrow) FREE with immediate access
https://mumsunstuck.com/want_in

Its funny.… here you're saying Telegram….

I asked this same question on the Mums Unstuck Whatsapp channel and the results were…..

Majority Whatsapp

Oh dear we have to think about this lol

Do not underestimate the importance of the early development years ukhti!!

What you’re laying down now when you have young children, are the seeds for what they will believe about themselves, others and the world as they get older.

In the West, we’re told to send our young children out into nursery so that they can “socially develop”…

❌Don’t buy into that!

❌You would never open the door to your home to allow anyone and everyone to enter…

➡️In the same way, when we send our young children out into nurseries away from us, we are opening their heart and mind for anyone and everyone to enter upon them, and place within it ideas, values and beliefs that THEY hold dear ….

….As well as dump all their own internal baggage upon your child

I hate to say this but we have to be brutally honest, not everyone who works in a nursery or in a school, you’d want taking care of your children. Not everyone working in a nursery or a school should be there. Some (not all), do more harm than good.

?This age is so incredibly important because it is at this stage that the foundation of their core beliefs and self perceptions are formed - and once formed, it is difficult to shake off

Not impossible
But certainly difficult.

Be careful what you allow to influence your children, and just as importantly, pay attention to what you allow to influence you.

?

To really break cycles, that means understanding everything that hurts you, hurts your children. So don't repeat those behaviours with your children.

The work you’re doing now may seem heavy, but know that you are planting a giant oak tree that, with the permission of Allah, will serve and shade others for generations. Don’t give up?

Please read this caption BEFORE leaving a comment on the headline slide so you UNDERSTAND what I’m saying here without taking the slide out of context ?

First let’s get any assumptions out the way…

❌I’m NOT saying that traumatic experiences you’ve faced whether in childhood or in present day should be ignored. What you resist will always persist. (I’m working towards a master’s equivalent in trauma informed coaching so I’m absolutely NOT saying that)

✅What I AM saying is, sometimes the challenges you face as a parent are simply down to not knowing what you don’t know….

As mumas we think that parenting should just come naturally…. that we should just “know” what to do….

But we don’t. We have to learn because being a muma takes knowledge and skill…

I remember with my firstborn, I thought nursing was a straight forward thing until I found myself struggling to get her to latch, and the midwife having to show me.

When it comes to any other field - medicine, teaching, engineering, counseling, coaching, ANYTHING - we recognise the need to intentionally develop knowledge and skills to perform the job

Yet when it comes to parenting, when it comes to knowing how to get the kids to listen, when it comes to correcting behaviour, when it comes to managing BIG emotions, we don’t see that same need of proactive skill development and instead, just cry ourselves to sleep thinking what “bad” mothers we are

Today everyone is talking about inner child healing and trauma. But not everything is about trauma….

Sometimes it is as simple as a missing skills issue and the awesome thing about missing skills - they are EASY to fill in ?

If this resonates with you, and you’d like to level-up your skill base so you CAN get the kids to listen without yelling and bursting a vein, I’m offering free access to the first video of the Intentional Parenting Tool Kit training from inside the membership - It Starts With You

Expires Sunday
Immediately access NOW ?
https://mumsunstuck.com/want_in