A culture is strong when people work
with each other, for each other.
A culture is weak when people work
against each other, for themselves.

©️Simon Sinek

#subyektiv #long_read

Orzularing o’zingnikimi?

Bir video ko’rib qoldim, qizlardan mahrga nima xohlashlari so’ralganda deyarli hammasi “gelik” ( Gelandewagen) deb javob bergan. Albatta, mahrning chegarasi yo’q, har kim xohlaganini so’rayveradi, ularning tanlovini muhokama qilmoqchimasman, bunga haqqim ham yo’q.

Meni ajablantirgani hammaning javobi bir xil ekani. Nega aynan gelik? Bu faqat qizlardamas, yigitlarning ham ko'pchiliki "boyib ketsam birinchi navbatda qop-qora gelik olaman" degan niyatda yurishadi. Ya'ni hammaning orzusi hayratlanarli darajada o'xshash, yo'qsa bunday savolga hammaning bir xil javob berish ehtimoli qancha?

Bu yaqinda, ijtimoiy tarmoqlar davrida yuzaga kelgan holatmas, menimcha. Biz o'zi bolalikdan hammamiz bir xil bo’lishga o’rgatilgandekmiz. Esimda 6-sinf paytimiz sinfdagi o’g’il bolalarning 90 foizi kelajakda harbiy bo’lishni orzu qilishlarini aytgandi. 10-sinfdagilar uchun asosiy maqsad esa IELTS dan 8 yoki 8.5 olish( albatta IELTS juda foydali, lekin ko’pchilikka 6.5 olish yetadi, 8 va undan yuqorisi esa shunchaki status uchun harakat qilishayotgandek, nazarimda.)

Menda ko'p savollar bor:
Nimaga bizda deyarli hech kim Audi yoki Porsche orzu qilmaydi?
Nimaga o'shanda sinfimizda hech kim kelajakda astronavt yoki rassom bo'laman demagan?
Nimaga chet el sayohati deyishsa bizda faqat Turkiya va Dubayni tushunishadi?
Nahotki hech kimda noodatiyroq orzular yo'q bo'lsa?

Bu savollarning javobi, menimcha, biz boshqalarning fikriga ortiqcha ahamiyat berib yuboramiz. Boshqalarning nazdida obro'li bo'lgan oliygohga kiramiz, ular ko'p maqtaydigan mashinani olmoqchi bo'lamiz va hkz. Aslida, bizni umuman boshqa narsalar baxtli qilishi mumkin. Ammo, biz baxtli bo'lishdan ko'ra boshqalar bizni baxtli deb o'ylashini ko'proq xohlaymiz.

Shuning uchun ham o'zimizniki bo'lmagan orzular uchun juda ko'p resurslarni ( pul, energiya va eng muhimi vaqtni) bekorga sarflab yuboramiz. Aslida hayot biz o'ylagandan osonroq bo'lishi mumkin, shunchaki quyidagi savolni o'zimizga tez-tez berib turishimiz kerak:
Orzularim o'zimnikimi?

@diyorbekegamovblog

iQtidorly campda bizni jamoa (8 kishi) 22ta jamoalar ichidan zakovatda 1-o’rinni olgandik. Taqdirlash marosimida Umidjon Ishmuhammedov bizni kechki ovqatga taklif qildilar. Lekin ba’zibir sabablarga ko’ra men borolmadim, shunda ham jamoadoshlarim meni savollarimni Umidjon akaga yetkazishdi va ular erinmay menga ovozli habar qilib tashladilar? Samimiy munosabatlaridan ularga bo’lgan hurmatim yanada oshdi!

Manipulation

Manipulyatsiya o’zi kichkinaligimizda oilamizdan boshlanadi. “Men uchun hop degin”, “Shuni qib qo’ymasang hafa bo’laman”, bo’lganmi shunaqasi?
We were expected to ignore our own “wants” to meet others’ “needs” just because it will offend them if we don’t. Why should we be okay with saying “No” to our inner self to please others? Why is our “No, I don’t want” perceived as arrogance or bad manners?
When it comes to making life choices, we should listen to our own guts more than we do to others’ expectations! If every choice we make shapes the paths of our lives, why would we let manipulative behavior interfere?
Build up your self-worth, and please be okay with saying “No, I don’t want” without having to make the whole pile of excuses.

We all made the right kind of mistakes, or we wouldn’t be here

- “Fahrenheit 451”

Back to sunset appreciation…

Bugun universitetimizda ‘Big Tech panel’ bo’lib o’tdi. Universitetimizni bitirib hozirda Tesla, Amazon, Apple va Microsoft kompaniyalarida dasturchi bo’lib ishlayotgan professionallar bilan 2 soat suhbatlashdik. Dunyodagi yetakchi Big Tech kompaniyalarga ishga kirish/internship yutish bo’yicha o’z tavsiyalarini berishdi.

What's YOUR coffee personality? ☕️
You take your coffee black? You must be a minimalist who keeps it simple - no fancy clothes, no bling, no time for fuss. A bit old-school, set in your ways, and probably pretty resistant to change.
Cream-and-sugar in your coffee? You walk the line! Sometimes organized, sometimes a little messy, always focused on the perfect balance. Latte is your thing? You are an open book. Imaginative and reflective, generous with your time, and so willing to go out of your way to help friends that you're often overextended.
If you favor cappuccino, you're a sophisticate. Stylish, classy, and very put together, you're highly creative and a dedicated friend. Espresso drinker, yes! You're a born leader, hardworking and demanding but also inspiring and a lot of fun to be around. Double espresso for you? You're practical, logical, and hardworking - when someone tells you exactly what they want. And maybe a little high strung. Decaf. And you add soy milk? You're fussy, perfectionistic, oversensitive, and hyperaware of your health, your body, and when people break rules or step out of line.
Iced coffee, oh my. You're assertive, confident about yourself and your opinions, and in control of your feelings. Mocha is your jam? Okay. You're a mix of childhood sweetness and adult bitterness, with a twist of whipped cream on top. Frappuccino, is that even coffee? You like to live in the moment -- adventurous, spontaneous, bold, and full of energy. You're a trendsetter, and so sometimes you can be a bit reckless and a lot outrageous. Instant coffee, really? You're super laid back and don't care too much about details - taking life as it comes, you may be a procrastinator who's not very good at planning.

Copied from Mindtap psychology session of UofA

P.S. 30kg in my case, I always overpack?