John 15:13

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

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One good thing about sex is that it forces people to grow and increase their standards, prior to having it. Otherwise don't take a person to bed or indicate you want that through exclusive dating, when the person you're dating has not worked to increase their capacity to have a family with you. Maturity needs to be present when you have sex with someone.

Maturity won't develop in people who aren't held accountable for immature behaviour.

And many men in the church won't get accountability from women they're dating because they'll just block people who give them accountability or stop dating them. The result is terrible - the man ends up with women who never give them properly accountability. That man will never mature properly, if he only seeks dating relationships with women who don't challenge them and force them to mature...

You force a man to mature by getting them into bed when they're ready for kids and you should have helped make them ready for kids before you married them.

Otherwise it's a premature marriage. Imagine marrying someone who is not mature enough to raise a family.

Oops.

There will be issues in the marriage if a man is not prepared to actually raise kids because a man who has the capacity to nurture life is properly mature...

They will be mature in other areas you need them to be mature in, not just the family raising bit.

Isn't all the above just common-sense.

Apparently not in the stupefied 21st century...

In the stupefied 21st century we have wives who are unable to confront their husbands on things or properly rebuke and advise them because it never happened prior to marriage..

If you developed a proper friendship with someone (not romantic dating) that person will be USED to accountability and rebukes.

It creates much better men. And far more solid and genuinely caring wives.

To care for someone means you be honest with them and still know the relationship is not in danger.

When you date, a person is always thinking about landing someone in bed rather than being a proper friend to them. See the problem with dating prematurely and spending all your 20s dating rather than making genuine friends with people?

Women need to learn to say no to dating/marriage before the man is ready. This itself helps a man grow and mature.

Men need to learn to handle friendships with women and control their thoughts.

Women work incredibly hard to discipline their mind. And avoid lustful thoughts. Men should work equally as hard - our culture tells men it's normal to lustfully think of women. Sure it's what happens but the bible tells you to reign it in.

No discipline in the 21st century, no patience, no decent accountability and communication is creating a drought of families.

Foster friendships.

And women should only commit into dating and marriage with a man whom she knows well as a friend first. Because people behave differently when they want sex from you. Their true colours come out when they want something other than friendship from you. But you will know what someone is genuinely like through genuine friendship before anything more serious.

Demand friendship more from your male friends, if you're a woman.

Men need to work, learn how to deal with accountability and mature properly, before you say yes to bed with them.

Say yes to bed with them, when you can tell they're ready to wear the responsibility of what bed means, in terms of kids.

And don't call accountability from the opposite gender abuse and narcissism when you're not even married to someone.

A lot of people in romantic situations that are premature, don't grow as much actually because they're not surrounded with as many close friends of the opposite gender who will actually give you caring, emotional and frank advice.

Also you will limit your friends if you 'date' and you'll never probably find decent compatibility that you should have found if you just remained single for longer and met more people.

There's nothing wrong with having multiple friends.

It actually helps you figure out what you need in marriage later down the track, when it comes to that.

Why date before you're ready for kids. It's called wasting time and being unproductive. There are wars to stop in the meantime.

Instead people in my gen are cutting their close friends down, limiting their social activities by spending time with just one person, and for what? They do this well before they're reading for kids.

I know people who started dating straight out of highschool. And they get married in their 30s when they are actually ready for kids.

Imagine a decade of 'dating' experiences where you didn't actually find the one...because you cut down your social activities by spending time exclusively with just one person, or talking with just one person to the detriment of other (maybe better) friendships you should have cultivated around you.

It takes years to find genuine compatibility. This is the person you're going to raise kids with and live with until you die...

Be friends with people like this first for years, to figure out if its really going to work..

When people start 'dating' their behaviour changes. You should avoid sexual tones in anything prior to marriage, precisely so that you think clearly. And cultivate genuine friendships.

The problem with the 21st century is that many in the church don't follow the bible.

They end up in poor marriages. They end up having no long lasting decent friends because they're not used to cultivating friendships...they're used to cultivating romance, not friendships.

To end up in a good marriage you need to do things biblically. Avoid idolising sex. Or even the prospect of marriage - it can be an idol. Enormous pressure will mount on you for no reason. You'll probably miss things and other types of relationships right in front of you, if you idolise marriage.

The dating scene currently in the church is shocking. And there's still a drought of families.

There's a drought of families because people are idolising dating/sex, and forgetting there are different types of relationships out there.

Friendships cultivated over a number of years can tell you more about people than some dating partnerships.

Problem with the church is that it's not taught to focus on friendships as much - pastors go straight into marriage talks or families.

They're missing friendships, with the opposite gender. So we have males in the church these days who expect girls to act as they would in marriage, but without the ring attached. So when women or men give people around them actual friendship or sisterly/brotherly behaviour, they're seen as abusive.

How can you even abuse someone you're not married to.

People are overly sensitive these days. They see friendship and accountability as abusive and many males expect women to treat men like they're married to them prior to marriage...

Why?

If you're not married to someone or even dating exclusively why expect a girl's behaviour in a friendship to match what they're like in marriage?

Many males want meek, stupefied 'submissive' friendships with women around them..who aren't married to them.

Bible says submit to your husband, not submit to your male friends or person you're 'dating'.

You date when you're ready for sex and kids with someone. If you want kids with someone currently obviously the woman will behave in ways which land her in bed. And so should the man.

Culture tells you it's normal for men to not exercise discipline in their thoughts.

No disciplining the mind is the reason we are facing so many issues in culture.

People are going straight into dating mode, forgetting friendships, ignoring plenty of people they should be developing friendships with- all because the made up 'dating culture' tells people to hitch up early and forget friendships.

You're supposed to cultivate solid friendships with numerous people. The church is a relational community.

Once you start liking a person beyond friendship, you are commanded to marry.

Controversial post for some? Probably.

Not many read the bible in the 21st century. I won't be pandering to culture ever, despite looking like a freak.

I obey God and the bible, not other people and their odd methods that aren't working. I'm looking around and observing a lot.

The methods people are using currently aren't working..

What even is dating.

Explain it to me through the bible.

I call it hitching yourself to someone for years who you aren't in a position to marry at present, but calling yourselves exclusive to the detriment of other friendships around you.

A man is supposed to work towards marriage. In fact it requires effort, not complacency. Once you're 'in a relationship' with someone,a lot of people get complacent. Why would they grow with you when you've told them you're exclusive. They'll get lazy. They won't listen to your advice either if they know you're going to stick with them and have sex with them later.

The prospect of sex is supposed to bring a man right in line with your standards PRIOR to sex.

If they can't meet the standard, there shouldn't be sex. It's the same for men - a woman needs to up her game if she wants sex with a good, decent man.

A lot of people don't work for things because they get things prior to working properly for them.

There's no accountability either. Friends give you open and blunt advice to ultimately help you.

If you're dating someone though, it comes across as 'abuse.' That person 'abused me.'

Give me a break. You aren't married to the person.

It's not abuse - it's accountability coming from friends. So that when you do end up in a relationship the both of you have grown tremendously, and are compatible so the marriage doesn't break down.

What people stupidly do these days is seek compatibility by hitching themselves prematurely to people, and there's no problem solving or accountability that takes place prior to marriage because the two of you are 'dating' whatever that means.

When you're 'dating' it's not the same as a friendship. Friends are open, honest and blunt with each other. When you're 'dating' you're expected to treat the other person like you're married to them.

You are not married to them.

And also sorry, bur there's no actual commitment either.

Marriage is when you fully commit to someone.

So I don't know what 'dating' is. Other than a waste of time.

I don't see 'dating' in the bible. I see friendships, pure biblical love, and marriage.

I don't know why society comes up with half the frameworks it does but if you look around and use your eyes, you'll notice a lot of people are wasting time and ending up in poor marriages.

To have a good marriage you need to search for genuine compatibility.

If you're hitched prematurely to someone exclusive (with no wedding ring) all you're doing is stopping yourself from finding genuine friends of both genders.

Because when you exclusively date someone you're off with them a lot and ignoring plenty of other people around you...

You're actually just limiting your friend circles if you date for ages and ages..

Avoid strange unbiblical frameworks. You'll waste time and lose friends. Good friends keep you accountable, give you decent insight about things and help you grow and learn about yourself.

Government in Ireland plans to slaughter dairy cows over emissions.

Ireland is one of the wokest countries in the world.

To know what's coming in The West/Aus, look to Ireland.