Three men are discussing whose wife is the most stupid.
"Mine bought a kitchen for $10,000 - and she cannot even cook!"

"Yeah, mine bought a car for $20,000 - and she cannot drive!"

"Ah, that's nothing. Mine bought 128 condoms for a business trip - and she does not even have a penis!"

#sexandshit

A woman is on trial for beating her abusive husband to death with his guitar collection.

The judge asks her "First offender?"

She replies "No, first a Gibson, then a Fender."

#wordplay

The furniture store keeps calling me
I only wanted one nightstand

#wordplay

A prostitute standing outside a motel in a small town saw an elderly man walking past. She hasn't had a customer in a while, so she calls out to him
"Hey, would you like to have a fun time with me?"

The old man said, "But I won't be able to..."

"Aww... give it a try... "

Old man says okay. They go in. The old man whips out his dick and fucks her harder than he had in decades, and for 30 minutes!

When he's done, the prostitute all exhausted and tired says, "But you said you wouldn't be able to...."

"...pay you." replied the old man.

#sexandshit

What do you feed a woman to get her to stop having sex with you?

Wedding cake.

#boomerhumor

How do you turn a pussy into an asshole?
Give him a badge.

#roast

If Joe Biden’s wife is called the first lady, what do we call his mother?

Joe mama.

#wordplay

A domestic abuser, a klansmen, and a murderer walk into a bar.

Bartender: what will it be, officer?

#other

The bitcoin crash won't be as bad as black friday.

At least we don't have to worry about people who jump out of their basement windows.

#other

Husband: "Scientists have found that men say about 10,000 words a day, while women say about 20,000..."

Wife (shouts from the kitchen): "It's because we have to repeat everything twice to you blockheads!"

Husband: "What?"

#sexism