fall arrived fashionably late

*"Consoling in its own way. Everything about her nearness is. And why. He knows why, doesn't, doesn't want to know whether he does or not. Comfort of long companionship then. Opens up space and quiet for him to feel at last how tired he is, how depressed."

— Sally Rooney, Intermezzo*

rated it ✶✶✶✶½, i have never seen a better depiction of how a person with a horrible mother could turn out. that's all i'm going to say.

finished this book finally.

and our carpenter is so elegant
at placing splinters right beneath my nails
where i cannot dig them out

shoot out the sun from across the moon
you know the things that i do in dark
i'll always be a part of your thoughts

stop dreaming, what's your weakness?
i'm not dearly loved
by the hands that know me
knives that throw me now

and i know none of this'll matter
in the long run
but i know a sound is still a sound
around no one
and while i'm in this body
i want somebody to want
and i want what i want
and i want
you
to love me