Indo-Aryan conquerors celebrate their victory

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Chat, unfortunately i believe my faith in odin (pbuh) is beginning to falter.. Ive spend a lot of time searching for the answers to the simply question of why? Why must i endure this hellish landscape we call earth. Why must i take part in this society of broken promises and broken people. I started reading about christanity as a young teen and became very enveloped in it. I was visiting church constantly, praying, and doing whatever i could to earn "gods" favor. And yet all that effort and still no gf. Years of time invested and no gf. Every time i approached one during service they'd do sort of an awkward smile and quickly scurry off. My mother has assured me it isnt my fault so i continue to search for the answers of why i cannot seem to find a gf. I tried becoming a Hindu, hoping that the smelly shit covered indians might find me appealing but to no avail i was lost yet again. Many years later ive some to paganism. I thought maybe the trad, aryan women of the pagan faith who have soft brown skin and gorgeous silky black hair may give me a chance but my efforts have amounted to nil. Nothing. Nada. Zero. Maybe it truly is OVER for me.