family, abuse

"my therapist told me yesterday: some people (esp family) will choose to remember & recognize only the version of you that they held the most power over, no matter how long its been or how much you've changed"

society, authority figures

"i follow my grandmother's rule: its only a lie if they have a right to know"

self care

"
"fed is best" applies to us non-baby people too

if your child will only eat chicken nuggets and yogurt: fed is best

if the only meal you had time for was from a drive-thru: fed is best

if a frozen pizza is all you could manage to cook in a day: fed is best

fast food is still food
convenience meals are still food
a bowl of cereal or a PB&J is still food

feeding ourselves (not to mention children!) can be difficult sometimes, so if you fed yourself today in some way: good job!"

activism

"no offense but the internet gives you the most wrong and fucked up idea of helping people because people get mad if you dont care about disasters happening in 72 countries, meanwhile the people in real life that are doing the most good picked one VERY SPECIFIC thing to care about and care about it REALLY HARD"

anxiety, guilt, impostor syndrome

"does anyone else get a strong sense of guilt and shame from receiving positive attention?

yes! i took a seminar on shame once where the trainer told us that compliments often trigger shame in people who have experienced developmental trauma because compliments are discordant with our internal sense of self, causing us to feel as though we have committed deceit"

"advertisers must convince young women that they are in need of constant improvement without threatening young women's views of themselves as intelligent, self-directed, and equal. buzz words like "empowerment," self-determination," and "independence" are sprinkled liberally across their pages. but this seemingly progressive rhetoric is used to sell products and ideas that keep girls doing gender in appropriately feminine ways, leading them to reproduce, rather than challenge, gender hierarchies. an ad for a depilatory cream, for instance, tells girls that they are "unique, determined, and unstoppable," so they should not "settle... for a sandpaper skin." feminist demands for political and economic equality - and the refusal to settle for low-wages, violence, and second-class citizenship - morph into a refusal to settle for less than silky skin. pseudo-feminist language allows young women to believe that they can "empower" themselves at the checkout counter by buying the accountrements of traditional femininity"

"My therapist told me yesterday: some people (esp family) will choose to remember & recognize only the version of you that they held the most power over, no matter how long it's been or how much you've changed.

And i cannot stop thinking about it."

growth, healing

"changing every "i should have known better" to "i know better now". i will not judge past versions of me through the lens of who i am now."

unscheduled post:

forwarding a message to give it visibility
"[...] fill the form, there's only one page and a couple questions, so go for it - no big bureaucracy involved"

edit for extra explanation: "conversion therapies" refers to the extremely abusive places, often camps, that promise to turn gay kids heterosexual, trans youth into cis "normal, decent people" and sometimes other things like "curing autism"

abuse, boundaries, socialization, relationships

"the sunk cost fallacy
a behavior where we continue to do something harmful based on how many resources we've already invested.
*like engaging in toxic/abusive relationships based on how many years you've already it in"